Can you do self-insemination at home ?
Let’s talk about why I consider myself a mature mom. I was preoccupied with my career as a journalist and wasn’t ready to change diapers or stay in on weekends. Then, one day, I hit 40 and turned to my partner, saying, “It’s now or never.” Miraculously, just five months later, the moment had arrived.
The Upsides
I know who I am.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have welcomed a baby — as I saw it — just in time. Becoming a mother later in life has its perks. Unlike in my 20s and 30s, I now have a strong sense of self. I wasn’t navigating my own growth while raising a child.
I have more time and patience.
While I’m far from the ideal mom, I do have more time now to make meaningful efforts and even read books on parenting. Although I can’t claim to be endlessly patient, I certainly have more tolerance than I would have had while juggling the demands of a reporter’s job.
I can afford time off.
Thanks to my partner’s job, I could genuinely take a break after our child was born. Having spent two decades working before becoming a parent, I had the skills and connections that made taking time off less of a gamble. I felt confident I would find work again.
I can afford help.
We hired a wonderful nanny, Mia, who loved our daughter. I truly believe that if a car had rushed onto the sidewalk, and she had to choose between saving my daughter or herself, she would have chosen my child. Early on, I learned how to best utilize Mia. A friend, Sara, who also became a mom later in life, advised me to let go of the guilt about not doing it all. Focus on the moments you treasure — like bath time and reading — and relish that time together. Her advice was invaluable; I was a much better parent for not being an exhausted one.
I’m less rigid and more fun.
As older parents, my partner and I are less preoccupied with rules. This may have been the case even had we become parents earlier, but I believe that confidence to parent on our own terms comes with age. We had friends who had children young and were obsessed with strict schedules. Before we had our own child, we would think nothing of dropping by unannounced during their child’s bath time — a huge mistake; it could throw off their entire routine for months.
My partner and I welcome visitors at any time. If a bath is skipped, that’s okay. Weeknights are perfect for dinner parties. Although we generally adhered to our daughter’s bedtime, that didn’t mean our night ended too. I also feel that I’m more fun as a relaxed mom. My days of trying to appear cool (if they ever existed) are long gone. I don’t mind looking silly, which makes it easier to sing along with my daughter or mimic her dance moves during our afternoon strolls. Just yesterday, I made a cameo in a TikTok video. I did a quirky bunny hop across the screen, and my daughter proudly shared it with the caption, “I have the coolest mom!”
The Downsides
I’m older.
I find myself needing to stretch more often, or I risk pulling a muscle lifting my daughter. I tire more quickly and require more downtime to recharge. Sometimes, I think the greatest joy of motherhood is a long-haul flight for work: just me, a glass of wine, and a tiny movie screen.
I’m older than other parents.
Although I may be more self-assured, I struggle with the fact that I’m older than many of the other moms. I like to think I look younger than I am, although I probably don’t. Once, at a school quiz night on my 50th birthday (which I wasn’t announcing), a friend younger than me asked if it was a “special birthday.” Surrounded by parents and teachers, I lied and said, “no,” quickly changing the subject. I suppose there’s nothing particularly special about turning 50.
I’m not tech-savvy.
I find myself a generation removed from my daughter’s digital world. I don’t share her enthusiasm for online life — having to take countless photos for her Instagram or feigning interest in her Roblox house designs. Even if I were younger, I’m not sure I would be more engaged.
I worry everyone notices my age (and I’m not okay with it).
There was that time at the doctor’s office when the nurse asked my daughter, “So, who do we have with you today?” I assumed this was due to my age rather than the fact that I don’t quite resemble her. Or the time we visited family in Alabama and went to a water park (pre-Covid). While conversing with adults my age, I realized they were all grandparents, and I was the mom — their surprise and sympathy were palpable.
In closing, I’m not regretting becoming a mature mom. I consider myself fortunate.
For more insights on parenting, check out this article, and for expert resources, visit this site, which offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. Another excellent resource can be found at UCSF for those considering starting a family.
Summary
Being an older mom has its advantages, such as greater self-awareness, more time, and financial stability to afford help. However, it also comes with challenges, including physical limitations and feelings of being out of place among younger parents. Ultimately, the experience can be rewarding and fulfilling.