The Ups and Downs of Remote Work

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DING! It’s tough to pinpoint which notification just chimed from my phone amidst the sounds of “Math Monsters” and the rapid clicking of my fingers on the keyboard. What I do know is that I have an endless list of tasks to tackle today, and I can only hope to get through a fraction of them before the evening school bus arrives with my 12 and 13-year-olds. After that, it’s a whirlwind of homework, dinner prep, baths, and bedtime, with a fair share of moderating sibling squabbles thrown in for good measure. If luck is on my side, I might even manage to grab a warm meal and share a quick hug or kiss with my husband when he returns from his job.

“Mommy, do you need to check your emails?” chirps my charming four-year-old, his eyes wide with curiosity. Bless his heart; he probably knows more about smartphone notifications than many adults in my life. If only he could respond to them!

When I first decided to work from home, I thought it was the ultimate solution. “What’s not to love?” I told myself naïvely three years ago. I could pursue a career I enjoy, earn a paycheck, be present for my kids, set my own hours, and maintain my resume without missing out on these formative years with my little ones. It seemed perfect!

Let me be clear: working from home is indeed fantastic, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I feel incredibly fortunate to be in this position. I adore my children, value my job, and cherish our life together.

However, let’s discuss the reality of this arrangement. I work from home with a four-year-old. If you’ve ever tried to concentrate on a non-child-related task while managing toddlers, you’ll understand the challenge immediately.

In the beginning, I attempted to create a dedicated workspace in the spare bedroom. “Yes!” I thought. “This will keep distractions at bay and allow me to focus.” But that setup lasted only about a month. I quickly realized that I couldn’t carve out a meaningful block of time without being interrupted. I never felt comfortable leaving my toddler unsupervised, even for a few minutes, let alone for an hour! So, I figured I’d work during his naptime or while he was entertained by the TV. Spoiler alert: naptime doesn’t last forever. And there’s only so much screen time I can conscientiously allow.

So, I decided to work intermittently throughout the day while caring for my little one and tackling household chores, then devote quality time to my family in the evenings. This led to my current routine: I haven’t been to bed before 2 or 3 a.m. in over a year, sometimes even closer to 4 a.m. I survive on caffeine and sheer determination. My husband has to rise early for his “real” job, which means I rarely have the luxury of resting before dawn.

Let’s not even get started on the well-meaning friends, family, and neighbors who equate working from home with endless free time. Their questions can be gems, like, “What do you do all day?” or “Why do you stay up so late?” I often hear, “If I were home, my house would be spotless!” or “I wish I could sleep in like you!” Sure, wearing pajamas while working is a perk, but the reality is far more nuanced.

Working from home is not a euphemism for lounging around with kids while still earning a salary. To be compensated, I must produce real work, just like anyone at a traditional job. It’s hard, it takes time, and it requires genuine effort. The fact that I don’t have to commute or clock in doesn’t diminish my productivity.

While it may seem like the best of all worlds, I often feel like I’m falling short somewhere. I can’t give my child the attention he deserves because work is demanding my focus, and vice versa. Both need my attention when the dryer buzzes, or we’ll be left without clean towels. I’m always on the clock, and although it feels chaotic, I wouldn’t change a thing. I thrive in this whirlwind, and I can’t imagine what I’d do with true downtime.

Oh wait, I do remember what that’s called: sleep. It rhymes with “heaven” and feels like a luxury I haven’t had in ages. But right now, dawn is breaking, and it’s time to get everyone up for work and school, start breakfast, and throw in a load of laundry before I finally get to rest. Night, or rather morning. Same difference.

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In summary, while working from home offers flexibility and the chance to be present with my family, it also presents unique challenges that require constant juggling. Balancing work and family life can be overwhelming, but the rewards of being there for my children make it all worthwhile.