Ah, New Year’s Eve! It used to be my favorite night of the year—until I became a parent. Now, I find myself dreading it in secret, especially the all-night party style that used to be the norm. Here’s what New Year’s Eve looks like when you have kids:
Finding a Babysitter
Unless you had the foresight to book someone in July, finding a sitter is akin to asking a celebrity to babysit. Even if you do find a high-schooler or college student willing to help, be prepared for them to hike their rates once they sense your desperation.
Wardrobe Dilemmas
You may rummage through your closet contemplating whether you can pull off that sparkly top with yoga pants. Spoiler alert: they will always be yoga pants, no matter how you style them.
Exhaustion by 9 P.M.
By 9 p.m., you’re already exhausted but know you need to stay awake for at least three more hours. Trying to project enthusiasm while fighting fatigue is more tiring than childbirth.
The Resolution Interrogation
You’ll inevitably be asked about your New Year’s resolutions, while you secretly contemplate if “survival” is your only goal. Your real resolutions might include losing the baby weight from years ago or finally getting your life organized.
The Cost of Celebration
You’ll soon learn the “Rule of 120”: $120 for a babysitter, $120 for a fixed-price dinner for two, and another $120 on drinks. Then there’s the inevitable late-night pizza order when you realize how much you could have saved for more responsible expenses.
Comparing Energy Levels
Going out with childless friends? Brace yourself for the stark contrast in energy levels and the lingering jealousy of their ability to sleep in until noon. If you choose to go out with fellow parents, expect one of two scenarios: either you’ll end up discussing your kids endlessly or you’ll let loose like it’s a wild night out, only to regret it later.
Midnight Fireworks
When the clock strikes midnight, and you hear fireworks, you’ll find yourself anxiously hoping those sounds don’t disturb your sleeping children. If they do, watch out—mama bear is ready to hunt down the noise-makers.
Morning Regrets
Come morning, you’ll wake up at the crack of dawn, regardless of how late you stayed up. Kids have this uncanny ability to wake up at the break of dawn, and you’ll soon find yourself wishing you had splurged on a hotel instead of returning home to a chaotic morning.
Coffee and Aspirin Needed
You’ll desperately need coffee and aspirin to shake off the remnants of last night, only to discover you’re out of one or both. At that moment, you might contemplate trading your firstborn for a giant cup of caffeine.
Mom Guilt
The next day, after spending a small fortune and feeling worse for wear, you might find yourself wishing you’d stayed in, snuggled with the kids, and watched cartoons while sipping sparkling cider.
Noisemaker Aftermath
Prepare for your kids to be obsessed with those annoying New Year’s noisemakers for months, only to find yourself throwing them away in a fit of rage by April.
Planning for Next Year
By the time New Year’s Eve rolls around again, you’ll have your excuse ready: “Sorry, we’re staying in because we couldn’t find a sitter. Enjoy yourselves!”
And the best part about New Year’s Eve as a parent? Realizing that the coziest place to be is at home, with your loved ones, in your yoga pants.
Here’s to a new year filled with surviving parenthood, embracing our bodies, being a little kinder to our partners (at least in the morning), and perhaps even starting to get our lives in order. And if not, there’s always next year.
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Summary:
New Year’s Eve takes on a new meaning for parents, filled with challenges like finding babysitters, managing exhaustion, and dealing with the guilt of wanting to celebrate while prioritizing family. While the night may not hold the same allure, it’s a reminder that the most enjoyable moments can be spent at home with loved ones.