Once, I found myself engaged in a candid conversation with a friend about the gritty details of our daily lives. At that time, I was a stay-at-home mom while he held a prestigious position at a high-end advertising firm, boasting a title that sounded like “Chief of Creative Collaborative Brand Strategies.” I asked him what his role involved.
“I oversee creative collaborative brand strategies,” he answered.
“What does that even mean?” I probed.
“My job is to facilitate creative collaborative brand strategies,” he replied, slightly annoyed.
“When you step into your office in the morning and grab your coffee, what does your day look like until 6 p.m.?” I asked, as if explaining it to a child.
“I send emails,” he stated matter-of-factly. “What about you?”
“I wipe things,” I responded.
Motherhood comes with a variety of labels: homemaker, domestic engineer, working mother, full-time mom, stay-at-home mom, or work-at-home mom. While we can define these titles however we see fit, the core responsibilities of being a mother often boil down to one simple task: wiping.
To be fair, it’s not all about wiping. Occasionally, I engage in scrubbing, sweeping, folding, and scraping. In reality, if you break down my daily duties, I might as well be labeled a cleaning service.
This becomes problematic because I’m not fond of cleaning. I dislike chores that require constant repetition, like doing the dishes, laundry, or tidying up the living room. (I feel similarly about personal grooming; there are days in the shower when I think, “Didn’t I just do this yesterday?”)
Becoming a parent brings numerous surprises: the pain of childbirth, the cost of childcare, and the unsolicited advice about how to dress your baby when the weather is mild. However, the most shocking revelation for me—something no one ever warned me about—was the staggering increase in cleaning responsibilities. (If I had a word for ten times the amount, I’d use it here.) My husband and I, as a childless couple, approached household chores casually: a few plates and forks washed after dinner, occasional vacuuming, and scrubbing the tub only when it got too grimy.
But once children enter the picture, a single meal can turn your kitchen into a disaster zone. After breakfast, it looks like a battle occurred, with toast crusts serving as ammunition. Jam is splattered on the ceiling fan. We go through an absurd number of plates, cutting boards, and utensils for each meal. Grit seems to perpetually reside underfoot, regardless of how thoroughly I sweep and vacuum.
The dirty dishes could be on a conveyor belt. Early in my journey as a stay-at-home mom, I joked to my husband, “Do you know who Sisyphus’ wife was? Dishyphus. While he was busy with his rock, she was at home scraping egg remnants off the frying pan.” Then, I would often break down in tears. Thankfully, my wise husband suggested we reassess our division of household labor.
Yet, even with two parents committed to maintaining order, the mess is relentless. It takes nearly all day, every day, for us to tackle the chaos our kids create. One child enjoys cutting paper into tiny bits that can’t be picked up by hand but are too large for the vacuum. Another decided to use markers on the walls instead of the paper. Sand from shoes ends up in my freshly made bed; muddy handprints adorn the sink after washing; and mysterious pee stains appear around the toilet as if someone was aiming for the general area but missed. (Who knows, that might’ve been me.) And then there are the booger smudges on the wall that I discovered one morning, leading me to a near meltdown.
At night, when my husband is too worn out to wash the pots, he places a single tablespoon of leftover sauce in the fridge, claiming, “I might eat it tomorrow”—even though we both know it’s just a temporary stop for that pot to develop mold. Shoes, coats, and bags lay scattered from the front door down the hallway, resembling a trail left by a marathon runner. I’ve given up on asking the kids to hang their things up and just kick my way through the mess.
When you give birth in a hospital, new mothers should receive microfiber cloths, a stack of rags, and paper towels alongside the baby care classes. They might add, “Get used to it; breastfeeding and diaper-changing are fleeting moments. But wiping? Welcome to motherhood—this is forever.”
For further insights on parenting, consider exploring resources like this excellent guide on pregnancy and home insemination or check out how to determine your baby’s due date here. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, read about it here.
In summary, motherhood encompasses a myriad of tasks, but at its core, it often revolves around endless cleaning and maintenance. Understanding these realities can better prepare new mothers for the journey ahead.