Menu
- Parenting
- The Unofficial SAHM Society
One of the most common misconceptions about stay-at-home moms is the belief that we’re surrounded by a vast network of friends and endless playdates. Sure, I can handle being labeled as someone who has it “easy,” being told I’ve let myself slip, and repeatedly clarifying, “No, I don’t have a job,” as if caring for two energetic little ones is akin to lounging around binge-watching movies and shopping online.
Let’s set the record straight: I don’t have a calendar full of playdates, nor do I have a large circle of fellow stay-at-home moms. In fact, I have exactly two: one is my sister-in-law, and the other lives a hefty 1.5 hours away, making spontaneous meet-ups quite the challenge. Sure, I’m part of an online mommy group I’ve been in for three years—it’s fantastic, but it doesn’t allow for the coffee catch-ups at Starbucks or park playdates without a plane ticket. Traveling with two toddlers? No, thank you. (Trust me; I’ve survived a flight with them. It’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.)
To be fair, I haven’t actively sought out more SAHM friendships. Approaching a stranger in a grocery store and suggesting a coffee feels awkward, almost like online dating. “Choose me! I’m fun and I promise not to curse around your kids—I’m working on that!” What if the group doesn’t vibe with me? How do I gracefully exit? “It’s not you; it’s me. I’m just too preoccupied with my kids and husband to commit to this right now. I mean, I joked about being lonely, but really, I’m not lonely enough to hang out.”
I lack the time and energy to navigate the complexities of forming new friendships. Sure, I enjoy a bit of drama, just not the kind that involves my children’s various mishaps. I prefer my drama to come from TV shows like The Bachelor, where I can critique fashion choices while lounging in my comfy pants with a glass of wine. Honestly, breaking up with a mom friend while snacking on cookies? That’s just plain tacky.
Yet, I’ve recently realized I’ve been part of a mommy group all along: Target. Yes, you read that correctly.
Every Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., I’m a member of a large community of stay-at-home moms. We gather over groceries, clearance items, and all the adorable yet unnecessary things that only cost a dollar. Target is our haven.
I’ve noticed a specific dress code within this group, and thankfully, I’ve unknowingly adhered to it. The unofficial uniform is workout clothes worn without any actual exercise, complemented by the Messy Bun or the notorious Top Knot. My own top knot? It resembles a ballerina who’s faced a cat attack while rushing to class.
Security at Target takes this dress code seriously. Just the other day, I witnessed an employee inform a woman in a crisp blouse and heels that she could only shop after 11 a.m. because she simply looked too put together for our group.
Makeup? Many of us roam the cosmetics aisle without a trace of it on our faces. Most sport caps pulled low, as if trying to hide their bare faces. Some brave souls go completely makeup-free, and yes, that includes the mascara-less mamas.
You must have kids to join this exclusive society. During our 2.5-hour window at Target, it’s a mad house. Shopping carts become battle zones, and children seem to find the most creative ways to distract. I once saw a toddler licking shoes before his mother noticed. Hilarious when it’s not your kid, right?
Negotiation skills are essential in this group. Moms come armed with bribes: silly hats, random toys, and sugary treats to keep their little ones in check. “Abby, please sit still for just five more minutes. Mommy needs to find some deals!”
I’m thankful to have stumbled upon this group. We support one another, sharing knowing smiles as our kids act out. “Hang in there, mama! Soon they’ll be asleep, and you’ll reclaim your sanity.”
Target provides a sense of camaraderie that I haven’t found elsewhere. Walmart? No, thank you. Whole Foods? Only if I’m feeling glamorous. Kroger? The produce section is always a letdown. Target has everything we need.
I cherish my unofficial SAHM society and the wonderfully chaotic friendships that come with it. Finally, I can say: I, Jennifer Todryk, belong.
If you’re on a similar journey, check out our blog post on the at-home insemination kit for helpful tips! For more in-depth information regarding sperm donation and family planning, visit this comprehensive guide. And if you’re looking for resources on pregnancy, this is an excellent read.
Summary:
In the life of a stay-at-home mom, the reality often contradicts the misconceptions. Far from having a packed social calendar, many moms find themselves navigating the chaos of parenting solo. Embracing a unique community at Target, these moms bond over shared experiences in the trenches of motherhood, all while adhering to an unspoken dress code and equipping themselves with negotiation tactics for their little ones.