As an individual who has grappled with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) throughout my adult life, I have amassed a collection of rather unfortunate bowel-related anecdotes. There was that infamous incident at a department store where I barely made it to the restroom while pushing my toddler in a stroller. Then, there was the time I had to urgently relieve myself in the woods on a remote country road, realizing the nearest restroom was miles away. Let’s not forget the unforgettable day I found myself on a deserted beach, constructing a makeshift toilet in the sand to avoid a true emergency. This is the first time I’m sharing that story publicly, and you’re welcome for that.
I thought I had reached the peak of absurdity until just recently, when I found myself in the peculiar situation of using my child’s potty. Yes, you read that correctly. And I’m sure I’m not alone in this experience.
Setting the Scene
Let’s rewind a bit. On that particular day, I was having some much-needed repairs done to my apartment’s sewage system. For context, I had been dealing with recurrent sewage issues, including plumbing mishaps that resulted in some rather unsavory situations. Thankfully, the repairs seemed to be on their way to resolution.
The water had been turned off for the entire day to facilitate the work. Initially, I was informed that while I couldn’t flush, the toilet was still usable. It was a school day, which meant my kids were out, and since I was working from home, I figured I would manage just fine.
As I sat at my desk, typing away while munching on breakfast and sipping coffee, I was interrupted by the repair crew. They informed me that, contrary to what I had been told, I couldn’t use the toilet at all. Panic set in—oh no, this couldn’t be happening. I had just eaten and my coffee was kicking in; I really needed a restroom.
While I could have ventured out to the nearby pizza place to use their facilities, I hesitated, unsure if they were even open yet. I was told the repairs would be completed in just a few hours, so I decided to hold out.
The Desperate Solution
In a moment of desperation, I retrieved my son’s old potty from the closet. Thinking quickly, I lined it with a plastic grocery bag and, well, did what I had to do. I tied the bag, placed another bag around it, and stashed it away in the closet, believing I would dispose of it properly when I could once again access the toilet.
You may wonder why I didn’t simply take out the bag and toss it in the trash outside. I considered that option. However, living in an apartment means shared trash bins, and I felt adult waste didn’t belong in that communal space. I naively assumed the repair work would conclude soon, allowing me to use the toilet again.
To my dismay, the plumbing work extended throughout the entire day. The lesson here? You can never fully trust a plumber’s timeline.
The Aftermath
As for the bag of waste I had so cleverly hidden? By the end of the day, I truly understood what it meant to be in possession of a “shitbag.” My recommendation? Save that term for your worst enemy.
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Summary
This article recounts a humorous yet relatable incident involving a parent who, due to unexpected plumbing issues, resorts to using their child’s potty in a moment of desperation. The narrative highlights the lengths a parent may go to when faced with a sudden lack of restroom access and offers insights into the challenges of parenting while navigating personal health issues.