Two weeks following my 50th birthday, my spouse of 17 years dropped a bombshell: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m finished.” Excuse me? What a way to mark my birthday. It’s no wonder my gift from the kids was a Fitbit—an ironic reminder to get moving, I suppose. Why invest in someone you’re about to leave?
Did I mention we have two sons, aged 10 and 13? Seventeen years of shared memories and efforts to make our marriage work, only to receive a two-sentence farewell? It was the most devastating shock I could have imagined, and I’m still piecing myself back together.
Fast forward seven months, and while I am navigating the most challenging and painful transition of my life—which comes with its hefty price tag—I can finally see a glimmer of hope. And I’m not referring to a faint light at the end of a tunnel; I’ve emerged into the open, and what I see are fireworks, sunrises, fireflies, candles, and even tiki torches. A vibrant, life-affirming light awaits me. My next chapter is set to be fresh and thrilling, and I’m looking forward to it.
Divorce is undeniably tough, and I know the coming years will be challenging. Yet, even after this short time, I can’t imagine still being in that marriage. It wasn’t who I was meant to be. I had lost myself. During the past year, even before my husband’s departure, I began writing again. I rediscovered my authentic voice—the witty, honest, and vulnerable version of myself. I was on a roll until the divorce announcement.
Perhaps my newfound voice was too much for him, but I’m continuing to grow—stronger than ever—with my words, stories, and supportive community. While some relationship challenges can be resolved with effort and desire, sometimes it’s clear that it’s time to move on. Happiness often follows significant, albeit difficult, transformations. At first, it felt like I would never recover. I wrestled with discouraging thoughts: I’m so old. I have nothing left. My poor children. How will I ever get through this? But gradually, my perspective shifted: the best years of my life are still ahead. I’ve gained wisdom, clarity about what I want, and I’ve learned to embrace my life’s experiences—crow’s feet, arthritic knees, and muffin tops included. This body has lived, and there’s more to come.
As a now single mother, I’m raising two amazing boys who are compassionate, resilient, and emotionally intelligent. It pains me to see them struggle with this change, but they’re already envisioning a brighter future. My newfound happiness translates to their joy, and the tension in our home has dissipated. We’re adjusting, but there’s more laughter, peace, and far less yelling—I haven’t raised my voice in months.
So, here’s to the most misleading yet transformative birthday gift: a fresh start, a new chapter in my life. I’m ready to embrace midlife with open arms, wrinkles and all. Those are laughter lines, and I plan to fill my days with joy, love, and adventure. I have rediscovered the strong, humorous, capable, and compassionate woman who has always been within me. She’s awake, ready, and eager to take on the world.
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In summary, this journey has taught me resilience and the importance of self-discovery. Life is about embracing change and finding joy in unexpected places.