As a new parent, you quickly adapt to a whole new world of food experiences. I still remember the moment when a piece of green bell pepper fell off my pizza and landed on my baby’s head. Without a second thought, I picked it up and ate it, while my partner looked on, half impressed and half horrified. That moment marked the start of a new culinary standard for us: welcome to parenthood, where survival takes precedence.
Fast forward seven years, and my once-nursing infant is now a picky eater who despises green peppers, sharing the spotlight with three younger siblings. While we occasionally enjoy a meal at our favorite oyster bar or indulge in take-out chicken tikka masala, the real mainstay of our dining experience is what I like to call the “Mom Menu.” This ever-changing selection of meals will keep you guessing. Let’s dive in!
Appetizers
- A yogurt cup lid slathered with mixed berry remnants
- A pretzel stick, minus the salt
- A roasted carrot piece that has made contact with ketchup
- A plastic hotdog bun, lovingly handed to you by an eager toddler
- Cucumber slices that you reluctantly choose, knowing they’ll be safe from little hands
Not included on the menu is the daily special, Soup of the Day, which consists of room-temperature cereal milk, delightfully rainbow-colored, served in a small plastic bowl—sans spoon (the spoon is somewhere on the floor). The seasonal Lucky Charms add an extra pop of color and flavor to this unique concoction.
Main Courses
- Crusts of seedy bread, smeared with remnants of peanut butter and jelly
- A cheeseburger with neither cheese nor patty, just a bun with small bites taken out
- A burrito loaded with ingredients that no one seems to want—except when you’re the one eating it
- Cold baked rosemary chicken with rice and broccoli, untouched and neatly arranged on a plate
- Whatever you can scrounge up in the fleeting four minutes your toddler is content with a lime popsicle
Tonight’s entrée special features a masterfully bitten flour tortilla, with two perfect holes that create an edible mask. Hold it up to your face, and you can see through it!
Desserts
- An ice cream sandwich that has taken a dip in the pool, with hints of chlorine
- An Oreo cookie, stripped of its creamy filling
- A blueberry that has mysteriously blended in with a dark knot on your hardwood floor, surprisingly intact
- The bottom of a red velvet cupcake
- A sip of Gatorade backwash in Cool Blue
This evening’s dessert special is a scrumptious mix of crumbs, birthday cake remnants, and frosting salvaged from a grocery-store sheet cake tray, all scraped up with your finger in the quiet kitchen after guests are gone and children are asleep. It’s a sweet reminder of the day when your three-year-old, cheeks squished by a party hat, declared it the best day ever. This dessert encapsulates the essence of parenthood.
Jamie Thompson resides in Atlanta, Georgia, where she navigates the challenges of parenting and writing. Her work has been featured in various publications, and aside from family life, she cherishes sunny beaches, a good story, and the occasional quiet moment.
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In summary, navigating the world of toddler cuisine is a unique adventure filled with unexpected challenges and delightful surprises. From the Mom Menu’s rotating offerings to the moments of quiet indulgence after the chaos, this culinary journey is truly one of a kind.