Having two kids was a blessing and a surefire way to make me rethink the idea of expanding our family. Before kids, I would occasionally forget to take my birth control pill, but those days are long gone. Now, I diligently take my pill every night while gearing up for the nightly struggle of putting two small children to sleep. But honestly? I probably don’t even need to worry about it anymore, because my husband and I hardly ever get the chance to be intimate.
It turns out that parenting is its own kind of contraceptive. Between the chaos of family life and the endless responsibilities, finding time for romance is nearly impossible. Here are the top reasons why:
1. Exhaustion
Sleep? What’s that? I can’t recall the last time I enjoyed more than six hours of uninterrupted rest. The moment I wake up, I dream of crawling back into bed. By the time I finally get to lie down, I can barely keep my eyes open. So, when it comes to intimacy, the last thing on my mind is romance. Sorry, love.
2. Feeling Unattractive
It’s tough to feel sexy when you can’t remember the last time you showered—has it been three days? And let’s not even talk about the parts of my body that I haven’t groomed in ages. Even after a quick scrub and a change into slightly less stained attire, I’m still adjusting to my new “mom body.” I’m working on self-acceptance, but for now, let’s skip the touching.
3. The Not-So-Nice Stuff
As parents, we are desensitized to many gross things. However, there are special moments that can really kill the mood, like potty-training mishaps or unexpected bath-time accidents. It’s hard to transition from cleaning up messes to feeling like a seductive goddess.
4. Co-Sleeping Chaos
Our bed has become prime real estate for our kids, who have taken over the center of it. So, our bedroom is out of the question for intimate moments. And as for alternative spots in the house, well, let’s just say we’re not as flexible as we used to be. A shower rendezvous could be fun, but who has the energy for that? (Refer back to point one.)
5. No Privacy
Even if we manage to sneak away to the bathroom for a moment of privacy (I know, super romantic, right?), our kids seem to have a sixth sense that alerts them when we’re trying to be intimate. They will stop at nothing to interrupt us. Once we switch back to “parent mode” to assist with a tablet search or snack request, it’s nearly impossible to get back into the mood. The Latin term for this is known as Coitus Interruptus.
I’ve heard that parenting gets easier as kids grow older, only to become a different kind of challenge during the tween and teen years. Right now, though, we’re knee-deep in chaos. Just the other night, I attempted to kiss my husband in the kitchen, only for our daughter to announce, “MY POOP LOOKS LIKE A BANANA!” before asking for help.
I’m not saying that romance is completely gone, but right now, it feels like we’re busy with babysitting duties instead. If you’re in the same boat, you might want to check out our post on home insemination kits, like the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit, to learn more about family planning options.
For more insights on postpartum nutrition, visit this essential guide for new mothers. Additionally, if you’re looking for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, the Fertility Center at Johns Hopkins offers great information.
In summary, while the idea of romance may feel like a distant memory, the joys (and challenges) of parenting keep us on our toes. It’s a wild ride, but we wouldn’t trade it for anything.