I am not the type of mother who hides bottles of wine in the pantry or indulges in a smoke after the kids are asleep. And while I have no judgment for those who do, I also don’t fit the mold of the mom who stress cleans, hits the gym, or relies on therapy to stay grounded amidst the chaos of parenting, work, and life.
Growing up, I was part of what you might call the working poor. My mother juggled three jobs while maintaining a household with a stoic demeanor. There were winters when food was a luxury, and we often made do with thin soups, relying heavily on school lunches for sustenance. I vividly recall a moment sitting alone in our chilly home, feeling the gnawing hunger in my stomach.
At the age of ten, I found myself unable to prepare anything substantial, so I resorted to flipping through my mother’s worn copy of The Good Housekeeping Cookbook. The glossy pages displayed mouthwatering images of cakes, roasts, and elegant tea sets. I imagined myself savoring those delectable dishes, dreaming of filling my empty belly with comforting, homemade meals.
This memory resurfaces often as I reach for a cinnamon bun after managing the evening chaos of my kids bickering during bedtime. When the end of the week rolls around and I feel the weight of financial stress, I might devour half a box of grape popsicles. After a particularly challenging workday, I justify ordering pizza as a reward for my family and myself.
I am an emotional eater.
Some might label me as having a food addiction, and in those moments, I might agree with them. Emotional eating differs greatly from regular eating, similar to how sipping wine is not like drinking water. I turn to food for relief, seeking that euphoric high. It’s no coincidence that I crave sugary treats instead of healthier options like carrot sticks and hummus. The rush of sugar coursing through my veins makes me feel alive, while the heaviness of carbs fills the void in my stomach, leading me to a state of blissful indulgence.
I often eat until I’m uncomfortably full, as this is when the act of eating transforms into an emotional release, sometimes even providing a sense of euphoria. I am not alone in this struggle. Research from Harvard Medical School indicates that about 25% of Americans rate their stress at 8 or higher on a 10-point scale, and this stress can lead to weight gain. While short-term stress may suppress appetite, prolonged stress triggers the adrenal glands to release cortisol, which can increase hunger and the desire to eat.
It’s no wonder that inspiring figures like Lisa Robinson, who advocates for mental and physical wellness, resonate with those of us facing these challenges. She emphasizes the importance of addressing emotional health to break the cycle of emotional eating. There have been instances during her workout videos where she addresses the need to confront emotional struggles, prompting me to pause and reflect, often leading to tears as I realize that food is my way of silencing my inner turmoil.
Emotional eating can spiral out of control, fluctuating with my life’s stress levels. My family prioritizes health, which adds to my shame when I find solace in binge-eating during tough times. We avoid fast food, emphasize the importance of locally sourced, fresh foods, and teach our children the value of healthy portions. Yet, when the lights are off and the kids are asleep, I find myself sneaking handfuls of popcorn or devouring a quart of ice cream, seeking relief from the stress that weighs heavily on my mind.
I am an emotional eater not due to a lack of self-control, but rather because I struggle to manage my emotions in a healthy way. I am not lazy or uninformed about the benefits of a balanced diet. Instead, I’m navigating a complex rollercoaster of emotions, and like many, I am a work in progress. I want others to know that they are not alone on this journey.
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Summary
This article explores the challenges of emotional eating, highlighting personal experiences and the impact of stress on eating habits. It emphasizes the struggle between maintaining a healthy lifestyle and the urge to seek comfort in food, encouraging readers to recognize they are not alone in their experiences.