Household chores play a crucial role in a child’s development. They instill a sense of responsibility, encourage participation in family life, and demonstrate that not every moment can be spent on preferred activities. For my kids, chores are vital—they keep me from contemplating selling them to the circus when it rolls into town.
However, when you come across a dishwasher loaded like this…
Image courtesy Julia Thompson…
it becomes painfully clear that help is not as forthcoming as one might hope.
Who can be held accountable? After a fruitless search for the usual suspects—like cartoon characters, video games, and their father (the mastermind behind this questionable dishwasher-loading method)—I came to a sobering conclusion: as Howard Jones said, “No one ever is to blame.” Except, of course, for me, standing on my own island of despair and disappointment, realizing that teaching my children to handle chores is yet another responsibility I have failed to master.
This line of thought led me to a rather significant epiphany: Parenting is essentially about delegating tasks to the least competent workers imaginable, with no one to blame for their shortcomings but yourself.
The realization struck me while I was on my knees in the gravel, navigating a web of spider silk clinging to my waste bins, and attempting to retrieve a heap of recycling from the murky depths of the green waste bin. Unsurprisingly, I was also trying not to curse in front of my neighbor, whose window was wide open. It was quite the challenge.
This moment brought back memories of my youth. Back in elementary school, long before the advent of the internet, we used to program a turtle to draw on our Apple IIe computer screens. This was considered cutting-edge tech education, especially for the gifted program.
As preparation, we performed an exercise where we had to “program” a classmate to tie their shoes. The goal was to articulate every single step clearly. When you were the “robot,” your job was to intentionally misinterpret instructions at every turn.
The lesson? Teaching someone to tie their shoes requires absurdly detailed and precise directions. My key takeaway: programming is incredibly difficult.
This same approach is essential when assigning chores to my children. As a side note, children doing chores can be just as frustrating as those gifted kids in the computer lab back in 1985.
You find yourself saying things like:
- Turn the vacuum all the way on, or it won’t pick up anything.
- Please don’t use the bathroom towels for cleaning the floor.
- Pledge is for tables; Windex is for windows.
- And my all-time favorite: Make sure to use a new bleach wipe for the sink that is different from the one you use for the toilet rim.
These are genuine instructions I’ve issued. Little did I know, my little turtles lack the common sense of actual turtles.
I’ve always identified as middle class—though the definition varies depending on where you reside. Growing up in the Midwest, my family didn’t have a cleaner or a gardener. My mother believed she didn’t need them, and she was right. We were her workforce, and she utilized us fully.
We mowed lawns, weeded gardens, and tidied up inside. We cleaned out the garage and dealt with all sorts of unpleasant tasks, like scrubbing our family’s bathroom or sniff-testing leftovers in the fridge.
Despite these humble beginnings, I have succumbed to the “we’re too good to clean our toilets” mentality. I’ve employed a house cleaner for over a decade, and don’t even get me started on the fees I pay for the gardeners to maintain our yard.
However, my recent move has left me without a house cleaner, and my sanity is hanging by a thread. Today, I lost my grip entirely after my fingernail sank into something squishy at the bottom of the green waste barrel, something I couldn’t see or identify.
But I’m contemplating forgoing hiring a new cleaner. Chores are a part of life. I had to do them, as did my siblings and everyone else I knew. My little turtles will have to learn the same lesson, and I’ll teach them in a way that would make my sixth-grade computer teacher proud.
And I will begin this lesson right after I disinfect my fingernail.
For more insights into navigating parenting, consider visiting the Home Insemination Kit blog, or check out this resource on infant care for expert advice. Additionally, Johns Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, parenting is a continuous journey of teaching responsibility through chores, despite the frustrations that come with it. It requires patience and clear communication, much like programming a computer. Though the challenges are many, it is essential for the growth and development of our children.