Recently, I caught a delightful exchange between two young boys on a farm adjacent to a bike trail in Pennsylvania.
Big Brother: “Come on, cows! We need some milk from you!”
Little Brother: (giggling)
Big Brother: (whispers) “Shh. If we laugh, they’ll know we’re not real farmers.”
Big Brother: (raising his voice) “Come on, cows! We’re farmers!”
Little Brother: “Yeah, we’re farmers!”
Cow: “MOOOOOOOO.”
Both boys erupted into laughter and dashed back to their bikes.
This is just one of countless memories I cherish and hope to hold onto long after we return to normalcy—well beyond the day we receive the vaccine, when my boys go back to daycare and school, and when every day stops being an unplanned “bring-your-child-to-work” day for my husband and me.
The past year has seen our family spend nearly every waking moment together. If someone had told me back in mid-March 2020 that my children would be home for not just a couple of weeks but an entire year, I might have considered quitting my job! It seemed impossible.
And perhaps I should have. It has been challenging—some days nearly unbearable. Balancing two full-time working parents while caring for a three-year-old and a five-year-old is no easy feat. The math simply doesn’t add up without some sacrifices.
Our marriage has faced strain, my work productivity has waned, and the boys’ screen time has skyrocketed—resulting in a significant drop in my concern over those limits. My patience has evaporated, and my energy has been depleted in ways I could have predicted but never fully grasped until living through it. My physical health has suffered, sleep has become elusive, and my hair has gone unkempt for far too long. Let’s just say my sporadic adult acne is enjoying a comeback that rivals my second pregnancy.
However, I’ve recently begun to see a silver lining. I’ve observed my boys transform from simply being big brother and little brother into true best friends, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything—even a few serene, kid-free hours at the salon.
With the shift from limited interactions at daycare to being each other’s everything—playmates, teammates, and partners in crime—they’ve experienced adventures as superheroes, scientists, artists, and even as Rocky and his trainer for Halloween. They run, jump, and wrestle, often getting quite loud. When I remind them to quiet down, my oldest will often respond, “But we’re having so much FUN!” And they genuinely are. So, I shake my head with a smile and concede, “Just a bit quieter, okay?”
They’ve learned from each other. Our five-year-old’s competitive spirit has made him a natural teacher, eager to share his knowledge. When his younger brother struggles with something, Big Brother’s initial impatience quickly melts away as he recognizes a chance to guide. He has aided in everything from potty training to learning how to color and even cutting down our Christmas tree.
On the other hand, our youngest is laid-back and a generous sharer, often reminding his big brother that “sharing is caring.” His infectious smile and warm hugs help soften his brother’s rigid demeanor—just don’t expect him to forgive you for unpausing the iPad while he’s in the bathroom.
Of course, they don’t always see eye to eye. They squabble over screen time, toys, and who gets to help with breakfast. The shouting can escalate, and there might be the occasional push or shove. (I may not have mentioned that the little one can be quite easygoing—until he’s not.)
But, almost without fail, within five minutes, they are back to being best buddies. I believe their ability to argue and then reconcile will be invaluable, teaching them important lessons about friendship.
As our oldest prepares to start kindergarten in the fall, and the youngest returns to daycare, that day will bring bittersweet emotions. We’ll regain some freedom, but after being so connected, that newfound independence will come with a sense of loss.
My hope is that this unique time together leaves a lasting positive mark on my boys. I wish for it to serve as the foundation of an extraordinary friendship—one that’s even stronger because of this unusual experience. I want the bond they’ve formed during these challenging yet beautiful days to remain in their hearts forever, just as I will cherish the memories of watching their connection flourish.
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In summary, the past year has transformed my boys’ relationship, fostering a deep friendship that I hope will last a lifetime. Despite the challenges of working from home and managing their care, the joy of witnessing their bond grow has made it all worthwhile.