Has anyone seen my spark? Because I surely can’t find it.
I think I misplaced it sometime last year, in the chaotic whirlwind that was 2022. Perhaps it slipped off the edge during a tumultuous time filled with emotional upheaval and uncertainty. Or maybe, just maybe, it decided to leave me behind.
Wherever it is, I want it back. I’m honestly exhausted from feeling this way—overwhelmed by sadness, a constant weight on my chest, and a lack of motivation to do even the simplest tasks. It’s a frustrating place to be, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only one feeling this way. Is this just the winter blues taking hold?
Not too long ago, I was a fierce woman, tackling my days with enthusiasm. Each morning, I woke up with a grin, ready to conquer whatever challenges lay ahead. I would hop into the shower, my spark and I chatting about everything from my workout plans to fabulous blog ideas and the perfect outfit for the day. Each day felt like a new adventure, and I was energized.
Now, however, it’s a struggle to even get off the couch to go to the bathroom. Apparently, I need to be in the mood for that. I find myself snuggling deeper under the covers and hitting the snooze button multiple times, giving myself an extra 15, 20, or even 30 minutes each morning. After a long day at work, I collapse on the couch for hours. I scrounge for a plate of crackers and cheese late at night, forget to wash my face, and have completely abandoned my skincare routine. I’m even back to chewing my nails.
I don’t feel like writing or eating healthy. All I want is to plop down with a tub of chocolate frosting or a heaping bowl of buttered noodles. I dread the thought of visiting the dentist or scheduling my annual check-up. Self-care has taken a backseat.
It’s as if my spark has been extinguished, leaving me feeling defeated. Perhaps she’s annoyed at the endless cycle of goal-setting and achievement. Maybe she’s taking an unplanned break from the relentless hustle of daily life. After all, even those of us who strive to be the best version of ourselves need some time off.
I understand that now. We all deserve a pause, especially her. She has been my driving force for so long.
But simply waiting around is unsettling. So, I decided to make some changes. I got a fresh haircut, rejoined the gym, and even updated my profile picture with a fun filter. I treated myself to a fantastic Broadway show in the city, hoping to lure my spark back with a bit of excitement. Slowly but surely, she seems to be returning, piece by piece.
Without her, productivity feels impossible. I miss her energy and motivation, the way she would challenge me to stay active and make healthier choices. She kept my calendar organized and coaxed me to sleep when I needed it. My spark was the upbeat friend who always kept me in check.
Maybe she’s just worn out from always being “on.” Aren’t we all? It might be time for me to appreciate her more. Perhaps January should be her month to unwind and recharge. Maybe I need to let her step back so she can return rejuvenated.
If you happen to see her, please let her know I miss her dearly. I imagine her lounging, sipping an exotic drink with fresh fruit adorning the straw. She’s probably playfully waving to a waiter while indulging in some fries. I envision her on a beach chair, absorbed in a book as the sun dips below the horizon.
If you cross paths with her, please tell her she’s welcome back whenever she’s ready, no questions asked.
For anyone on a similar journey or looking for ways to boost their spirits, check out this post about a couple’s fertility journey for intracervical insemination, which offers valuable insights. Additionally, if you’re interested in tasty breakfast ideas, don’t miss these irresistible overnight oats recipes. And for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, MedlinePlus is an excellent resource.
Summary
This article explores the author’s struggle with losing her inner spark amidst life’s chaos. Reflecting on her previous motivation and zest for life, she realizes the importance of taking time to recharge and appreciate the moments when her energy wanes. As she makes small changes to reignite her spirit, she encourages others to do the same.