On weekends and holidays, my children seem to have an innate competition with the morning birds to see who can rise the earliest. Even before the sun fully creeps over the horizon, they are wide awake, bouncing around like they’ve just had a triple shot of espresso. The concept of “sleeping in” is foreign to them unless it is prefixed with “can we” and succeeded by “in the living room” or “in a tent”—anywhere but their actual beds.
However, come school days, that same morning enthusiasm vanishes without a trace. Instead, they lie there, lost in deep sleep, drooling on their pillows, as if their cheap mattresses are enchanted with some powerful sleep spell. I know that the next twenty minutes are going to be among the most stressful of my day because I absolutely dread this part.
Waking them is challenging for a multitude of reasons. First, those calm early-morning moments are some of the rare times my house is quiet, enveloped in a soothing silence. No arguments, no whining, no annoying electronic sounds. Disrupting that peaceful atmosphere feels inherently wrong—like using an air horn during a symphony or putting mustard on chocolate pudding.
From the day they were born, I’ve done everything in my power to keep them asleep—avoiding doorbells, awkwardly sneaking out of rooms, and hissing “shhh” in the hopes of maintaining their slumber. Thus, intentionally waking them feels like a betrayal of all those years spent trying to preserve their sleep. That instinct to let them rest simply doesn’t fade when they start school.
I typically begin with a gentle approach, opening the curtains to let the sunlight stream in, hoping they’ll wake up to the beauty of the morning. “Good morning!” I chirp, channeling my inner Mary Poppins. “It’s going to be a wonderful day!” I tenderly pat their backs and stroke their arms, but in return, I receive… nothing. They remain completely still, like bed-bound boulders.
So, I step it up a notch. I increase my volume and become a bit more assertive; my gentle pats turn into nudges. “Hey, time to rise and shine,” I say, but all I get is a muffled groan or, more commonly, them pulling the covers over their heads, as if that’s a magical shield that can make me disappear.
This reaction only fuels my frustration, and I find myself resorting to my “mean-mom” voice, a mix of drill sergeant and tyrant: “GET! OUT! OF BED!” By the time they finally open their eyes, we’re both glaring at each other, and I wonder if it would be inappropriate to crash through their wall like the Kool-Aid Man and scoop them out of bed.
Adding to the challenge is the time crunch of a school morning. I’m not only trying to wake them up but also racing against the clock. If they aren’t up, dressed, and fed in time, I’ll be faced with a chain reaction of unfortunate events, starting with the dreaded experience of having to put on a bra for the drop-off line. This fear drives me to make sure they don’t miss that bus, no matter what.
So, this is my routine five mornings a week, and while it’s a struggle for everyone involved, it never seems to change. They are persistently difficult to rouse on weekdays. However, once they finally wake up, they’re generally decent little humans. Once my blood pressure returns to normal, we can continue with our morning routine. It’s smooth sailing from there—until they start whining about breakfast options, the little ingrates. At least they’re out of bed and dressed by then.
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Summary
Waking kids for school can be an exhausting challenge for parents, filled with stress and frustration as they navigate the morning routine. The struggle to get children out of bed contrasts sharply with their energetic weekend behavior, leading to a daily battle of wills. However, once they finally wake up, the morning routine can proceed more smoothly, despite the inevitable complaints about breakfast choices.