If you’re living with teenagers during this pandemic, you’re well aware of the challenges that come with telling them they can’t socialize with their friends. I’ve seen countless parents, including myself, reaching out for advice on how to handle this situation.
My clever seventeen-year-old, Alex, seemed to believe that once his school closed, we were entering a perpetual holiday. I quickly set him straight, reminding him that this wasn’t a vacation; his schoolwork still needed to be completed, and staying home was non-negotiable.
Just five minutes later, Alex slammed his laptop shut, claiming his teachers had told him to enjoy his “break.” He grabbed his car keys and announced his intention to go to the gym. I was not amused by his sarcasm or defiance. I told him to stay put and that he could work out at home instead. This sparked a long argument, which has now stretched over three weeks. The gym eventually closed, but according to Alex, I am the only parent still enforcing the stay-at-home order and preventing him from seeing his friends.
In his mind, I’m overreacting and clueless about the facts. He genuinely believes he’s invincible, shielded from COVID-19. Since that day, I’ve been repeating my lectures, trying to enforce the rules for him and his siblings, who thankfully can’t drive.
Last Friday, I ventured out to the grocery store to restock our dwindling supplies. Upon returning, I discovered Alex was missing. It was mid-afternoon, and when I called him, he claimed he was just getting gas and wanted fast food. “I can’t take sitting at home anymore,” he lamented. That was the first time he left without permission.
I demanded he return home immediately and warned him not to meet up with any of his friends. I even called his father, who lives nearby, asking him to keep an eye out for Alex. I then turned to my younger kids, who had stood by silently while Alex left, and questioned why they hadn’t alerted me. Of course, I was met with eye rolls and the classic response that I was overreacting. “You bet I’m dramatic! There’s a global health warning, and you think it’s no big deal!”
I’ve explained to my kids that limiting their movement between our house and their father’s isn’t punishment; it’s about keeping them safe. They’ve been mourning the loss of their normal activities, like hanging out with friends or attending school events, just as we all have.
If you’re grappling with the same struggles of maintaining some semblance of normalcy for your teens while they insist it’s unfair, you’re not alone. It often feels like I’m trying to contain wild animals desperate for freedom. Yet, as difficult as it is, we have a critical role: teaching them empathy, responsibility, and the importance of doing their part to end this pandemic.
My daughter, Mia, has been pestering me for a friend to come over, adamant that they can visit without touching. My youngest, Jake, insists he can hang out with his buddies at Target, arguing that the store is open and they can maintain distance while wearing ski masks. I know they’re struggling with loneliness, and they want life to return to normal just as much as everyone else does. That’s why I’m committed to keeping them home, despite my exhaustion from constant negotiations. I’ve warned Alex that if he sneaks out again, his car keys will be off limits for a month—and I mean it.
Adding to my chaos, Mia has taken to sending me endless videos and pictures of ducks doing adorable things. She’s convinced that since she can’t see her friends, a pet would make her summer more bearable. I love my children dearly, but parenting them through this time is no easy feat. If there were a way to ease their burdens, I would do it in a heartbeat. At this point, it looks like we might just end up getting ducks instead of indulging their cravings for sweets. Who knows? Perhaps managing ducks will be easier than managing teens.
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In summary, navigating the challenges of keeping teenagers quarantined is no small feat. It requires patience, firm boundaries, and understanding as we all adapt to this new normal.