Time magazine once stirred up controversy with a cover featuring a mother nursing a child who appeared to be around five years old, accompanied by the bold question, “Are You Mom Enough?” I can still recall my initial reaction: “Wow! Who breastfeeds for that long?”
Breastfeeding was a challenge with my first child. Despite my best efforts, it simply didn’t pan out. I felt a pang of guilt, promising myself that with my second child, I would do whatever it took to make nursing a success. Apparently, the universe took that promise to heart; nearly three years later, after my second child finally latched on, I found myself in a desperate struggle to wean.
In the beginning, nursing was a beautiful experience. After overcoming the initial discomfort, I relished every moment, fulfilling my dreams of motherhood. I nursed with pride, opting not to cover up in public. I drank herbal Mother’s Milk tea, savored kale, practiced yoga, and kept my stress levels low—all to ensure my milk production was on point.
As my child thrived and gained weight, my pediatrician suggested introducing a bottle. “No way,” I insisted, worried about “nipple confusion.” What if my child stopped nursing and I faced failure again? My pediatrician soothed my fears, so I ventured out to buy bottles and new pump parts that had been collecting dust for years.
For months, I struggled to get my child to accept a bottle. I tried making a game out of using a pacifier—no luck. I offered cute square blankets with satin edges and a playful animal head—still a no-go. I even tried my finger, warm milk in a cup, and encouraged him to be a big kid. Nothing worked; my child was determined to stick with breastfeeding.
At 18 months, I thought it was a good time to wean. I was ready to put in the effort, believing we could tackle this challenge together. Yet, the more I attempted to reduce nursing sessions, the more my child clung to them.
I was in over my head. One particularly challenging night, after my child turned two and was suffering through teething, my husband remarked, “You do realize you’re basically a walking pacifier, right?” That hit home. It dawned on me that my child’s attachment was more emotional than nutritional. It felt akin to someone asking me to entirely eliminate carbs from my diet. I understood, but I also felt like a terrible parent wishing to stop nursing.
There came a point when nursing began to feel uncomfortable; my skin would crawl. I knew we needed to have a serious conversation. I reached out to my mom friends for advice on how to break the connection between my child and breastfeeding. By then, my breasts felt more like pacifiers, and I was growing increasingly weary of nursing. The bigger my child became, the more self-conscious I felt nursing in public or around family members with strong opinions.
When my child began to ask for nursing after every meal, before naps, and whenever I said “no,” I realized we had a problem on our hands. Now, at 2 ½, the struggle has intensified, and I’ve resorted to desperate measures to avoid nursing. After consulting with a friend who is a lactation consultant, I attempted to gradually reduce daytime nursing. That failed. I tried to cut back on nighttime nursing—another flop. Now, I’m considering a cold turkey approach.
I’ve marked a date on my calendar—the day I will break my poor child’s heart. Along with cabbage leaves in my bra, I’ll be applying lemon juice to my nipples, donning hard-to-remove clothing, and bracing myself for a week of tears.
I cherished the nursing bond, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that while I wanted to nurse for this long, I’m now ready to move on. Being a good mom means recognizing when it’s time to let go.
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Summary
This article chronicles the author’s journey through breastfeeding, highlighting the challenges and emotional attachment involved. After a successful nursing experience with her second child, she grapples with the difficulty of weaning and ultimately decides to take a cold turkey approach. It emphasizes the emotional aspects of breastfeeding and the importance of recognizing when it’s time to transition away from nursing.