In countless ways, parenting can be a rewarding experience. While I can’t recall too many specifics at the moment, I genuinely enjoy connecting with the attractive parents at the playground. Plus, there’s a good chance my son’s obsession with dogs will lead to us adopting one soon, thanks to my wife’s inability to say “no.” Those are a couple of upsides. Additionally, kids alter your perspective, encourage personal growth, and shift your priorities—making you more aware of the world around you. And yet, I could literally fall asleep writing this zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Those Z’s are metaphorical, of course, because the flip side of the “I’ve never been happier!” narrative is that children also rob you of sleep, drain your bank account, disrupt your lifestyle, consume your free time, and, I’ve come to realize, elevate your stress levels.
Never before have I felt such anxiety as I have during my two-plus years of fatherhood. Sure, I’ve experienced incredible moments watching my child grow and learn, but I’ve also noticed my hair turning gray overnight and wrinkles taking up residence on my face, leaving me feeling like a frazzled mess.
The worries never seem to end once you have a child. Suddenly, you find yourself fretting over things you never thought would concern you, from SIDS and suffocation to monitoring sodium intake. Is he watching too much TV? Am I swearing too much around him? What about bullies, ADHD, or whether that bumpy red monster shaped like a certain object is a proper role model? Then there’s the looming threat of global issues—North Korea’s antics, football-related concussions, and climate change, just to name a few.
The anxiety starts early, especially when they’re infants. Everything becomes a source of panic because, let’s face it, you’re figuring it out as you go. Is that normal? What’s that? Oh, right. His anatomy. You become so hyper-aware that even when things are going smoothly, concern lingers. When we began sleep training, I was a bundle of nerves just trying to survive the night without a breakdown. Later, when he slept soundly, I’d panic if he was too quiet. Why isn’t he making noise? Is he even okay? Oh wait, it’s just his anatomy again.
Eventually, you learn to accept quiet moments and have a little faith. If prehistoric children could survive in a world full of dangers, surely this new generation can thrive without constant surveillance, right?
Then comes the toddler stage, which feels like a never-ending rollercoaster of risk. Watching a two-year-old for even a short time can lead to a heart attack. Parenting a toddler is less about what you’re doing to keep them safe and more about what they’re doing to endanger themselves. You turn your back for a second, and suddenly they’ve scaled the couch or moved furniture just to reach something they shouldn’t. During mealtime, they might make a choking noise just to grab your attention and send your heart racing.
Taking them outside is a whole other ballgame; they dash around like headless chickens, seemingly willing to run into traffic or collide with a tree. They’re pushing boundaries—both their own and ours—living life on the edge, and it feels like someone’s bound to end up in the ER while another might face legal consequences. This constant state of alertness is exhausting, especially as age brings physical changes that make parenting feel even more daunting. The reckless fun you had as a kid becomes a source of dread when you see your child attempting the same stunts. Suddenly, you’re the cautious parent, reliving your own childhood fears.
The most frustrating aspect of this anxiety isn’t merely the age-old adage, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean your toddler isn’t going to chase that intimidating-looking dog.” No, the most challenging realization is that this heightened vigilance may never fade. Once you become a parent, your mind is perpetually occupied with thoughts of your child’s safety, no matter their age—whether they’re three months, three years, or even thirty years old.
I now understand why, when I visit my family, my parents still wait up for me.
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To sum it up, parenting is a mix of joy and perpetual anxiety, where every stage brings new worries and challenges. It’s a journey that transforms you in ways you never anticipated, and the stress seems to stick around for the long haul.