Updated: March 23, 2018
Originally Published: November 30, 2014
As I navigate the journey of raising my seventh child, I’ve come to realize that parenting often feels like a relentless series of challenging stages. Just when you think you’ve conquered one hurdle, another one looms ahead.
Stage 1 — Sleep Deprivation
If you’re fortunate, this stage may last only a couple of months; however, many parents endure it for six or even seven months. But hang in there; one day you’ll crawl into bed, expecting a brief slumber, only to wake up eight hours later. You’ll check the clock, amazed at having your first full night’s sleep in ages. A wave of panic will wash over you as you rush to see if your child is alright. To your relief, they are peacefully sleeping! You think, “Finally, things will get easier…” But then…
Stage 2 — Mobility
This phase might be even tougher than the sleep deprivation. Once your child starts to move, they seem to find every potential choking hazard in sight. You might fantasize about getting rid of every toilet, trash can, and pet dish in your house. Completing any household chore becomes nearly impossible. Plus, you’ll soon realize how dirty your home is, gauging when to clean based on the color of your child’s knees or the tops of their feet. This stage can last up to two years, but then one day, you’ll find that you can leave the bathroom door ajar without a mini-explorer diving in. Phew! You can finally take a breather.
Stage 3 — Talking
You eagerly await that first word, repeatedly prompting, “Say Mama! Say Mama!” What you don’t realize is that once your child starts talking, they won’t stop. Those first few utterances are adorable, but soon, hearing “Mama” for the four-thousandth time can become quite grating—especially when it’s followed by “You’re the worst!” This stage may not have a clear end, but you eventually come to terms with it.
Stage 4 — The Terrible Threes and Fours
Forget the “terrible twos”—the threes are truly challenging, and the fours? They test every ounce of your patience. This phase can feel like it’s pushing you toward therapy or mandatory anger management classes. The words “Whyyyyyy???” and “Pleeeeease???” will become daily mantras, uttered hundreds of times. Whoever invented time-out must have been amidst this stage. You’ll emerge from this phase utterly drained.
Stage 5 — Lying
If you think your children are innocent of this, you might still be in denial.
Stage 6 — But Jane’s Mom Lets Her Do It
This one speaks for itself.
Stage 7 — The Teenage Years
It’s hard to say which is more daunting: this phase or the previous one. Both can be equally terrifying, but in this stage, your kids might be taller than you and much quicker on their feet. So yes, this phase might just take the cake for being the hardest.
Stage 8 — Can I Have Some Money?
This stage tends to stick around longer than the rest. Trust me, I know from experience—I’m 45 and still navigating this phase.
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with various stages, each bringing its own set of challenges. From sleepless nights to the trials of teenage years, every phase tests your patience and resilience. However, understanding these phases can help you prepare for what’s to come.