Parenting
By Jennifer A.
Updated: Jan. 27, 2015
Originally Published: Feb. 23, 2010
I’ve come to accept that I am a Slacker Mom. By contemporary standards, my contributions to my children’s upbringing fall short of what many consider typical or commendable, and honestly, I’m perfectly fine with that. Perhaps “old-fashioned” is a better descriptor, as my own mother didn’t engage in many of these activities either—and we turned out just fine.
My guiding principle? Do only what’s necessary to get by, and that’s more than enough. Perfection? Forget it. Check back with me in 30 years and we’ll see how this approach has panned out. For now, I simply lack the energy to do any more.
Slacker Mom Quirk #1: Playdates Are Not My Thing.
I really dislike them. If I must host one, it typically involves your kid being dropped off to hang out with mine, engaging in whatever innocent activity they can think up, as long as it’s reasonable. Nothing fancy.
I’m often astonished by the elaborate setups some moms create for a Tuesday afternoon playdate. My child has attended playdates that could be featured in a luxury summer camp brochure, with craft stations and tables overflowing with heart-shaped sandwiches and fruit. All meticulously arranged for tiny hands that would be just as happy with store-bought cookies loaded with trans fats. Why do we do this? Because kids need activities! And snacks—lots of healthy snacks!
When I was a child and had friends over, my mom simply sent us outside and tossed us a couple of Twinkies when we complained about hunger. There were no structured activities involving bedazzling T-shirts or making purses out of pink leopard-print duct tape. No elaborate fruit trays filled with organic produce or gluten-free snacks.
In fact, I don’t recall any of the moms watching us play on the swings. They didn’t hover over us, anticipating every misstep or breaking up every little squabble. This was the 70s, after all. And when I say school, I mean actual school—not “school” for toddlers. Pre-K was nonexistent back then. We weren’t pressured to perform “1-minute math” at age six, and we all turned out OK, right?
Slacker Mom Quirk #2: Birthday Parties Are Overrated.
There, I said it. I feel a weight lifted. Each year, I promise myself to downsize the party—invite fewer kids and keep it simple. Yet somehow, I end up spending more on my child’s birthday than I do on myself in an entire year, and the constant influx of gifts is the most overwhelming part. What happened to the days of a few friends, homemade cake, and “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”?
Surprisingly, most moms I speak with agree, yet we struggle to break the cycle. Planning a child’s birthday party nowadays is akin to organizing a White House State Dinner. The guest list is scrutinized for days. Do we invite this kid but not that one? How do we keep our numbers low without offending anyone? It’s downright ludicrous.
Slacker Mom Quirk #3: Not Volunteering for School Activities.
Lastly, I proudly earn my Grand Slacker Mom title by avoiding the overzealous school helper moms. You know the type; they are present at every event and make those of us who only show up for mandatory occasions look bad. I pay a good chunk of money for my child to attend that school, and I’m not going to spend my time begging to chaperone field trips or organize events. The school day is my solitary moment away from my child’s complaints—why would I willingly expose myself to anyone else’s kids’ drama?
I could elaborate on my Slacker Mom traits, but I believe I’ve covered the main points. To any other mom who resonates with this perspective, know you’re not alone. Embrace the Slacker Mom title with pride. The more of us who stand together, the better chance we have of sending the Overachieving, Bedazzling Moms back to their closets where they belong.
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In summary, being a Slacker Mom means prioritizing what truly matters. It’s about simplicity and embracing the imperfections of parenting, while also fostering a community of like-minded moms who can support one another in this chaotic journey.