I am helping my teenage daughter learn the importance of being a “sister” to her peers. A sister-friend is someone who supports and uplifts fellow women, fostering strong connections that last a lifetime. Here are some key lessons I’m sharing with my daughter to cultivate this bond:
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Be Prepared to Share Essentials
No woman stands alone; middle school, in particular, can present unexpected challenges, like the arrival of a girl’s period at the most inconvenient times. At the start of the school year, I created a small survival kit for my daughter—a discreet makeup bag stocked with pads, a couple of tampons, wipes, and a travel-sized deodorant. I encouraged her to offer these supplies to any girl in need, even if they aren’t close friends. It’s about being brave and compassionate; after all, you can always replenish your supplies later. -
Never Leave a Friend Behind
Whether at a party or waiting outside for a ride, it’s vital not to abandon a friend. In today’s world, safety is paramount, and separation can lead to dangerous situations. Ensure your friends are safe—this means waiting until they’re picked up by a responsible adult or accompanying them yourself. Always view yourselves as a team: when one stays, you all stay. Yes, even if it’s hard to see someone you like paying attention to your friend. From my own experience, one time I let a friend go off alone with a guy, and it ended poorly. I had an unsettling feeling and went to check on her, arriving just in time to help her out of a bad situation. -
Avoid Competing Over Boys
It’s normal for young women to find themselves vying for attention, but competition over boys can fracture friendships. At 14, the likelihood of a boy turning into a lifelong partner is slim. The bonds formed in friendships often outlast fleeting teenage romances. If you find yourself in such a situation, gracefully step aside, give yourself time to heal, and maintain your friendship. Remember, if he tries to pursue you later, he’s probably not worth your time. -
Prioritize Your Friendships
When you enter a relationship, make sure to carve out time for your girlfriends. While infatuation can be consuming, it’s essential to show your friends that they still matter. Because when relationships end, you’ll want those friendships to be there for support. -
Answer the Call
If a friend reaches out at 3 a.m. in need, be there to answer. You would hope for the same from her. Let’s be real, your smartphone is likely resting close by anyway.
The middle and high school years are filled with ups and downs, along with real risks. There’s no better way for our daughters to navigate this time than with a circle of friends who will celebrate their wins and provide support during tough moments. By instilling these values, we equip our daughters to grow into strong, supportive women who act like sisters to one another.
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In summary, fostering supportive friendships in young women is essential. By teaching our daughters to share, stand by their friends, avoid competition over boys, maintain connections, and be there in times of need, we prepare them to thrive in a world where sisterhood means everything.