In a heartfelt conversation just before my wedding, my father imparted a crucial piece of advice about marriage that would stick with me. “Make it a priority to spend 20 minutes each day solely focused on one another. No matter how hectic life gets, carve out that time for each other.”
At first, I paused to digest his words, but they resonated immediately. I had already experienced how busy weeks could lead to a sense of distance, even when we were physically together. It’s those nights when we finally crawl into bed after a grueling day, and for the first time in hours, we look at each other without distractions—no screens, no stress, no responsibilities clouding our thoughts. In those moments, we truly connect, often realizing just how disconnected we’ve been throughout the day. Too many of those days in a row can leave me feeling a bit unfulfilled.
Conversely, I’ve cherished the ease of our relationship during vacations, where our sole focus is on each other. Even mundane moments, like waiting in airports or driving for hours, become special when it’s just us against the world. The comfort of shutting off the TV, putting away our gadgets, and simply embracing one another is irreplaceable.
I knew deep down that my father’s advice was spot on. Yet, like any child would, I found myself questioning him.
“Does having dinner together count?” I asked, hoping for a loophole.
“No. You need to concentrate only on each other,” he replied firmly.
“What if we can’t manage 20 minutes? Some days it feels impossible to find that time,” I pressed.
“Then aim for 15, 10, or even 5 minutes,” he suggested.
“Really? That still counts?”
“It’s not as effective, but it’s definitely better than nothing,” he reassured me.
After our conversation, I felt a clear understanding of how impactful this could be. With many friends stepping into marriage recently, I have shared my dad’s wisdom with them. Each of them pauses to reflect, but they quickly grasp its importance. Many have even passed it on, prompting me to document it for wider consideration.
Perhaps this simple yet profound idea could strengthen a marriage or two—or at the very least, encourage couples to dedicate 20 minutes of undivided attention to one another, genuinely connecting and saying “hi” once again.
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In summary, my father’s advice about dedicating intentional time to each other has proven to be a timeless principle for nurturing relationships. By committing even a few minutes a day, couples can reinforce their bond and maintain connection amidst life’s chaos.