I found myself staring at a Facebook post, utterly bewildered. Could this really be happening? An old high school acquaintance had just shared a heartwarming photo of a squishy newborn, proudly announcing, “And now we have two grandbabies!” Two grandbabies? I’m 42, and she’s probably around the same age. This is surreal.
Growing up in a small rural community, it wasn’t unusual for people to settle down and start families young. At our 20-year high school reunion, several classmates already had teenagers. I just never considered that time would march on—high schoolers become adults, and adults have kids.
Yet, none of my friends are anywhere near grandparenthood. I have a small circle of friends from my hometown, many of whom I’ve known since kindergarten. Even those who had children “early” were only in their mid-20s. The thought of receiving an invitation to a baby shower for the next generation feels utterly foreign to me.
After leaving for a more progressive liberal arts college, my social media feed shifted toward friends who are just now having their own children. Our college culture emphasized advanced degrees over early marriages, and the idea of having kids in your 20s was quite rare. Most of my college peers are just starting families in their 30s or even 40s. Yet, here I am, faced with the reality that a former high school softball teammate is now a grandmother—twice over.
I quickly messaged my hometown friends about this shocking news. “Wow. Her husband must be older?” Sarah suggested, seeking to rationalize the situation. For a moment, that brought me some comfort. If she married someone older, it didn’t necessarily mean we’re all old enough to be grandparents. But then reality sank in: if she had a baby at 20, her child could very well be a parent now. The numbers add up.
Despite my youngest being eight years old and my own age, I sometimes feel like having another baby wouldn’t be out of the question. My husband’s reaction to such a notion is priceless—half horror, half disbelief. Deep down, I know I don’t truly want more children. I cherish the snuggly newborn stage but also value the current phase of parenting where I can say, “Go back to bed; it’s not morning yet,” or “You’re old enough to make your own lunch.” Those are not options with a two-month-old.
I would gladly hold a baby for a few hours, feed it, and snuggle it. Changing the occasional diaper wouldn’t be a problem, but the thought of being responsible for a child’s growth for the next 18 years? No thanks. I’d much prefer to enjoy a baby for a day and then return it to its parents.
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- How to handle becoming a grandparent
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In summary, the realization that peers are becoming grandparents can be both shocking and surreal. It forces a reflection on the passage of time and personal choices regarding parenthood. While some embrace the journey into grandparenting, others cherish different stages of parenting and life.