The phenomenon of anxiety can often create a cyclical pattern, particularly for those who have experienced it throughout their lives. As someone who has grappled with anxiety disorders, the prospect of becoming a parent stirred my own apprehensions about potentially passing this trait onto my children. It may seem paradoxical, but the very nature of anxiety often leads individuals to worry about the impact of their struggles on others, especially their offspring. This heightened vigilance often morphs into an overprotective parenting style.
As a father to three children aged 10, 8, and 3, I frequently find myself scrutinizing their behavior for signs of anxiety, a tendency that many parents—both with and without anxiety disorders—may share. However, findings from a recent study conducted by researchers from Macquarie University’s Centre for Emotional Health and its partners in the Netherlands and Australia suggest that overly cautious parenting could inadvertently foster anxiety in children.
In their research, which surveyed 312 families with preschool-aged children, the scientists uncovered that parents who engaged in Challenging Parent Behavior (CPB)—characterized by encouraging safe risk-taking through activities like rough-and-tumble play—had children with notably lower anxiety levels. This revelation prompted me to reflect on how I interact with my daughters as opposed to my son. While my son and I often enjoy vigorous play, my daughters tend to gravitate toward imaginative play, which often involves princess themes. This distinction in play preference led me to wonder about the long-term effects of my parenting approach on my daughters’ mental health.
According to an additional study from the University of Newcastle, the assumption that girls prefer gentler play is misleading. The research indicated that daughters enjoy rough-and-tumble play just as much as their male counterparts, often surprising fathers who realize they had been treating their daughters like princesses. This revelation was a wake-up call for me. I’ve enjoyed engaging in imaginative play with my daughters, but I had not considered that they might also relish the physicality of roughhousing.
It’s worth noting that this second study primarily focused on fathers and their daughters, yet it is essential to recognize that mothers can and should also participate in engaging, rough play with their children. I’ve observed my wife adeptly engaging in playful wrestling with our son, highlighting that this playful dynamic shouldn’t solely rest on fathers.
Moving forward, I plan to be more inclusive during playtime. When I’m wrestling with my son and my daughters join in wearing their princess costumes, I’ll invite them to participate in the action. Perhaps I’ll enlist their help in vanquishing a “dragon” (a.k.a. their brother) instead of relegating them to the sidelines. I want to honor their interests while also introducing them to the benefits of dynamic, physical play. This way, we can all enjoy a fun and laughter-filled environment, which I believe will be beneficial for all their mental health.
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In summary, treating daughters like princesses might inadvertently limit their exposure to beneficial physical play, potentially leading to anxiety later in life. It’s essential for parents to engage all their children, regardless of gender, in a variety of play styles to foster resilience and mental well-being.