I recently found myself back in my childhood room, preparing my six-year-old for bed. After a long drive and hours spent reminiscing and laughing, I was eager to settle down and let the fatigue of the day envelop me.
As I tucked my daughter in, I caught sight of my mom peeking through the doorway to say goodnight. My daughter instantly leaped up to wrap her arms around her Nana, delivering yet another hug in a day full of them. Once she was back in bed, I casually said, “Goodnight, Mom, see you in the morning.” But those simple words caught in my throat, and it took everything in me to stay composed. After my daughter was settled and my mom returned to her room, I took a few deep breaths and sank onto the edge of the bed, overwhelmed by the weight of the past year. I buried my face in my hands and quietly cried.
From the very start of the pandemic, I have been deeply worried about my parents’ health. Countless nights have been spent tossing and turning, questioning if I was doing enough to keep them safe. The anger I felt towards those dismissing masks and quarantines only amplified my fears.
Every little health hiccup my mom had sent me spiraling into anxiety. If my dad ever complained of not feeling well, I would mentally pack my bags, ready to rush to them at a moment’s notice. Yet, each time, it turned out to be nothing—seasonal allergies or a mild stomach ache easily treated by some ginger ale and rest.
I’m acutely aware of how this virus has shattered families, and every time my parents felt under the weather, my mind raced to the worst scenarios—especially as nearly 550,000 families in the U.S. have faced devastating losses due to COVID-19. It’s a harsh reality we’re living through.
To stay connected during lockdown, my parents and I began FaceTiming regularly. These brief calls not only brightened our days but also kept us updated on one another’s quarantine experiences. Then, a couple of months ago, my mom casually announced, “We have our appointment next week.”
A wave of panic washed over me. What appointment? Were my parents facing health issues I wasn’t aware of? Just as those worries flooded my mind, she clarified, “For our vaccine.” The shock left me momentarily speechless. After months of anxiety, the prospect of them finally getting vaccinated was almost surreal.
However, when I regained my composure, I realized my mom didn’t share my excitement. I understood her apprehensions. They had been living in fear all year, isolated and constantly reminded of their vulnerabilities. They had listened to those downplaying the virus, which only deepened their anxiety about their own mortality.
Yet, despite their fears, they both received their vaccinations and emerged unscathed. After the recommended three weeks, we eagerly planned a visit.
This road trip was significant—not just for the distance traveled but because it marked the first time in a year I could hug my parents without the fear that my touch could harm them. While the world wasn’t back to normal yet, the alleviation of my parents’ immediate health risks was a transformative shift for my family.
My heart aches for those who have lost loved ones to this virus. The stories of families who did everything right yet still succumbed to illness resonate deeply. These losses are not distant; they’re our neighbors, friends, and often, our own family members.
So, saying goodnight to my mom was not just an emotional moment; it was monumental. I feel profoundly grateful to be able to be with my parents again, to hug them, chat with them, and simply enjoy their company in person. Their vaccinations restored that connection for me and my family.
I recognize that the pandemic is far from over, but it’s these small victories that we must cherish to get through this challenging time. Today, I celebrate the simple joy of saying goodnight to my mom, filled with hope for many more cherished moments to come.
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Summary
In the context of the pandemic, the emotional relief of having vaccinated parents is profound. The author shares personal experiences of anxiety regarding their parents’ health and the joy of finally being able to reconnect without fear. This moment represents a significant emotional milestone, highlighting the importance of small victories during challenging times.