Can we all agree to drop the pretense and admit that the initial two months with a newborn can be incredibly challenging? Seriously.
As a mother, I cherish every moment with my children. I would go to any lengths for my two little ones. After experiencing a marriage, a baby, a divorce, and a second marriage, I faced a heartbreaking miscarriage followed by a difficult pregnancy. I am infinitely grateful for my two healthy daughters and the journey it took to get here. However, I find it puzzling that so many feel the need to hide the struggles of those early days, instead of admitting how tough it can be, especially when you’re up at 2:30 a.m. trying to soothe a fussy baby while wishing you could just curl up in a corner.
Acknowledging the difficulties doesn’t mean you love your baby any less. It just means you’re human and sometimes overwhelmed. Society often presents a rosy picture of bringing home a new baby, but the harsh reality remains unspoken. Why is that? Why can’t we be honest when someone asks, “Hey, how’s motherhood going?” Instead of responding with a generic “It’s wonderful!” wouldn’t it be more refreshing to say, “Honestly, it’s pretty rough. No one in this house is sleeping, I barely have time to eat, and my clothes are stained with all sorts of bodily fluids.”
The first couple of months can feel like quicksand, where you’re trying to juggle everything while feeling completely lost. Here’s a glimpse of the chaos:
- You become so sleep-deprived that a mere three-hour nap feels like a luxury.
- You want to lash out at anyone who suggests, “Just sleep when the baby sleeps.”
- You find yourself meticulously tracking every feeding, as your brain feels like mush and you fear forgetting to nourish the little one who relies on you.
- You’ve lost count of the days—what even is a weekend?
- Your laundry pile is insurmountable, and every time you think you’ll make a dent, you’re too busy dealing with diaper disasters.
This list is just a taste of the experience. The truth is, those first two months with a newborn can be a complete mess—both figuratively and literally. If you’re a new mom, hang in there; the feelings you’re experiencing are completely normal, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. That moment when your baby finally sleeps through the night will feel like a mini-vacation (or, in mom terms, a solo trip to Target).
For anyone supporting a new mom, consider bringing her a massive coffee and tackling a load of laundry while she takes a much-needed break. Trust me, the baby will likely be quiet during that precious hour.
Let’s stop pretending that the first couple of months aren’t incredibly difficult. Embracing the truth allows us to support one another in this shared journey of motherhood.
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Summary
The first two months with a newborn can be overwhelming and exhausting. Acknowledging the struggles is important for new mothers, as it helps to foster community and support. Sharing the reality of sleepless nights, chaotic days, and the challenges of caring for an infant can create understanding and solidarity among mothers.