Let’s face it: The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is far from sufficient, especially for working mothers. Personally, I consider myself fortunate since I reside in a state that grants an additional six weeks of maternity leave, totaling a mere 12 weeks of paid time off. If you’re not in a state like California that offers this extra six weeks for bonding, you’re not alone. Many mothers—about 25%—find themselves back at work just two weeks after giving birth, often before their newborn can even hold their head up. Even more concerning is the 40% who aren’t qualified for FMLA at all. While you technically can take 12 weeks off to care for your baby, your job isn’t protected, which means you might not have a position to return to. Then there’s the 61% whose jobs are protected, yet they can’t take the full 12 weeks due to financial hardships. Many maternity leaves are unpaid, and even when paid, the compensation is often only 60% of one’s salary.
This brings me back to the “lucky” mothers, like myself, who can manage to stay home for those 12 weeks with our little ones—relying heavily on our savings and the occasional gift card from Babies”R”Us. But before you let envy creep in, let’s take a moment to examine what this supposed generous 12-week leave actually means for us.
Right now, I’m typing this on my smartphone, held precariously over my 10-week-old daughter, Emma, who is peacefully sleeping on my lap after nursing. She’s nestled there because I only have two weeks left with her before I return to work, and she starts daycare alongside her older brother. The countdown is on.
From the moment Emma turned two weeks old and breastfeeding became less torturous, I began to feel the pressure of time. Suddenly, I was faced with the reality that I had only ten weeks left to build a stash of breast milk for when I become an exclusive pumper during work hours. It’s a race against the clock: cleaning and sterilizing the pump, bags, and bottles while balancing nursing, diaper changes, and the demands of my toddler. Plus, there’s the added stress of ensuring I don’t oversupply, which could lead to complications like mastitis. All of this while trying to keep my sanity intact and not snap at my husband due to sleep deprivation.
Emma sleeping on my lap is far from a picture-perfect moment. Yes, it’s heartwarming, but it’s also tinged with anxiety. I know that by allowing her to nap on me, I’m not preparing her for the transition to daycare, where she won’t have me to comfort her. I’ve promised myself I’ll start getting her used to napping on her own—just like I’ve done for weeks now.
Fast forward to Emma being four weeks old. I’m busy capturing milestone photos and sharing them online, basking in the likes and comments. But as I scroll through my phone, I’m reminded that I only have eight weeks left with her. I put my phone down, trying to focus on the fleeting moments as she reaches new developmental stages. But now it’s time to introduce the bottle, preparing her for daycare. It’s a bittersweet milestone.
Week seven rolls around, and just when I thought everything was going smoothly, Emma refuses the bottle. Panic sets in, but I remind myself I still have time to fix this. By week eight, she’s officially declared the bottle her arch-nemesis, and I am frantically searching for solutions while fending off unsolicited advice from family.
Now, as I approach the end of this chapter, with Emma about to be 10 weeks old, I’m acutely aware of the ticking clock. I’m not just savoring these moments because they’re precious; it’s because I know that soon I’ll only see her during evenings and weekends, sandwiched between chores and the daily grind.
Why is this happening? Because in the United States, maternity leave is far from adequate. Unlike the 36 other countries that allow working mothers up to 52 weeks of paid leave, we’re left with a meager disability leave, often with minimal financial support. Here in America, we are compelled to return to work long before either we or our babies are truly ready for separation. Most families simply have no other choice.
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In summary, the sad truth is that maternity leave in the U.S. is a complicated and often inadequate system that forces mothers back to work long before they are ready. The reality is stark: most working mothers have no real maternity leave to speak of, and that’s something that desperately needs to change.