Some might argue that being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is the toughest job around, while others picture it as lounging on the couch, snacking all day while the kids run wild. The life of a SAHM is often clouded by misunderstandings and debates about whether it’s a dream scenario or an overhyped struggle. It’s no surprise that those in our Confessional have a mix of sentiments on the matter.
One thing everyone can agree on: being a stay-at-home mom would be significantly simpler if it didn’t involve the “mom” part. While the concept of staying home sounds inviting, the reality is far from a never-ending vacation, contrary to what many non-SAHMs might believe. There’s a common misconception that SAHMs have abundant “free time” throughout their day.
Confessions from the Confessional
Confession #25768400: “What I miss most about working is that no one expected me to juggle a million other tasks. As a SAHM, everyone, including my partner, assumes I have endless free time to cater to their needs.”
Confession #25755496: “I used to think stay-at-home moms should keep everything immaculate and have dinner prepped. I’m not stuck in the past, but I thought it was fair since my partner was working long hours. Ha! Joke’s on me—I’m a SAHM for four years and didn’t realize the kids would change everything.”
Confession #25765398: “I really appreciate people who have never babysat without screens telling me I should take in more kids while being a SAHM. If you don’t pay my bills, please be quiet.”
Keeping a household running—especially with children around—requires a ton of behind-the-scenes effort, and it’s often gratifying when someone else experiences the daily grind.
Confession #25767926: “As a SAHM, I recently started working night shifts on weekends (which I enjoy), and it’s amusing when I get texts about how challenging it is to watch the kids. It’s so hard to watch them? Please.”
Many people erroneously believe that not earning a paycheck means being a SAHM isn’t a “real job.”
Confession #1724725: “I wish my partner would realize that staying at home is hard work too.”
Confession #1475099: “I’m a stay-at-home mom while my partner works outside the home. He often says he wishes he had my ‘job.’ Let’s switch! Please!”
Confession #1344189: “I love being a SAHM, but I hate when people say ‘so you don’t have a job.’”
Anyone who has been a SAHM knows it’s a legitimate job—one with no sick days and zero lunch breaks, where you wear multiple hats. A 2019 study from Salary.com even found that if stay-at-home moms were compensated for their work, they would earn an impressive $178,201 annually. So, to the skeptics, take note.
Confession #25760581: “I’m proud to be a SAHM. I work hard for my family, support my community, and engage fully in my children’s education and activities. I also have immense respect for working moms.”
While the always-on-call SAHM role can be exhausting, it does provide certain flexibilities, and many enjoy the benefits of this lifestyle.
Confession #1603774: “I genuinely love being a SAHM, but I pretend to complain to fit in with other moms.”
Confession #25752381: “As a SAHM, the only thing I miss about working outside the home is a guaranteed lunch break and the chance to use the restroom alone.”
Confession #1625801: “I adore being a SAHM. I can do as I please as long as the kids are settled. My partner thinks I’m hard at work, but right now, I’m just lounging on the couch watching TV with my daughter. Loving it!”
However, amidst the perks, many SAHMs grapple with common challenges: feelings of disillusionment, isolation, and a persistent sense of lacking purpose. The mental and emotional strain can often be the most difficult aspect of the job.
Confession #25766120: “I can’t recall what I expected being a SAHM to be like, but this isn’t it.”
Confession #1769529: “There are days I skip showering or brushing my teeth. My daughter once exclaimed, ‘Oh Mom, did you fart?’ Nope, that was just my breath. Being a SAHM feels like no purpose in life.”
Confession #25760630: “I feel like a failure. This weighs heavily on me. Shouldn’t being a SAHM feel rewarding? It doesn’t—at least not enough. Everything feels trivial and insignificant.”
Confession #1527590: “I love my kids deeply, but I despise being alone with them all day. I crave adult interaction, dressing in something other than sweatpants, and breaking the monotony of my days.”
Confession #25768284: “I’m not cut out for this SAHM life. I never wanted to be one, and now I feel like I contribute nothing. Maybe it’s because my partner doesn’t acknowledge how challenging my role is.”
Confession #1491318: “All my life, I dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom. Now that I am, I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears.”
Like any role—because let’s be clear, it is a role—being a SAHM has its ups and downs. Yet, it’s vital to remember that, although it can be isolating, we are part of a vast community of SAHMs who understand the reality of endless diaper changes, laundry, and screen time.
Confession #25755555: “I feel bad hearing about other SAHMs struggling, but it also comforts me. The cycle of being a SAHM—experiencing joy, loneliness, and inadequacy—is a wild ride. Grateful I’m not alone.”
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In summary, while being a stay-at-home mom is rife with challenges, it also comes with its own rewards. Recognizing the complexity of this role and supporting one another can make the journey more manageable.