“Oh no, I’m so sorry for being late! Traffic was a nightmare!” This is the standard excuse I often resort to when I find myself running behind schedule. With life being as hectic as it is, it feels like there’s always an event on my calendar, and I find myself late to everything—sports games, parties, weddings, you name it. But please, hold your judgment; there’s usually a far more entertaining explanation for my tardiness. Here are some of the REAL reasons I often find myself arriving late:
- I spent 20 minutes searching for my sunglasses… which were actually perched on my head the entire time.
- Each of my kids could only locate one shoe.
- I hadn’t gone to the bathroom in a week, took laxatives the night before, and they decided to kick in right when it was time to leave. The kicker? I refuse to use public restrooms or anyone else’s!
- I needed a Diet Coke, and even though the drive-thru line was wrapped around the building, it was so worth the delay.
- My partner and I had an argument, and I needed to calm down the urge to strangle him before we entered the event.
- I had to wait for my Xanax to take effect.
- I couldn’t find my keys after searching the house frantically. My eyes were watering from stress when I finally found them in the same drawer I had already checked five times. Then, in my distraction, I misplaced them again while checking my reflection to see if I looked like I had been crying.
- The outfit I planned to wear was still in the washing machine.
- My son took 17 minutes to brush his teeth because he was too busy making funny faces in the mirror.
- I set the alarm and woke up on time, but I then spent half an hour in bed scrolling through Facebook and liking everything.
- I forgot half the items I needed and had to return home to collect them all.
- I struggle with time management in general.
- There was a Golden Girls marathon on, and I couldn’t resist watching Sophia’s antics until the episode ended.
- I put on a pair of jeans that felt too snug, so I switched to leggings, but I couldn’t find shoes that matched. I ended up trying on multiple outfits and venting to my husband about unrelated issues.
- I lost track of my two-year-old for a moment.
- I didn’t want to be the first to arrive at this gathering, so I took the long way around to delay my entrance until others showed up.
- I misplaced my cell phone while talking on it—classic, right?
- Just as I was about to leave, the baby had a diaper blowout, which made me drop everything to change him. By the time I was done, my older son had taken off his shoes and couldn’t find them.
- My dog dashed out the door as we were leaving, leading to a neighborhood chase while my kids sobbed in the driveway. After what felt like a marathon, I needed a breather to recover.
- Honestly, I’m just a hot mess trying to hold it together.
So, the next time you see a mom struggling to maintain her composure while running late, please don’t judge. Just offer a kind smile and pretend to buy her excuse about traffic; she might just be a mess like the rest of us.
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Summary:
This light-hearted article explores the many humorous and chaotic reasons behind a mother’s chronic lateness, ranging from lost items to family antics. Rather than judging those who arrive late, it encourages understanding and empathy, recognizing that we all have our struggles.