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The Past Was Pleasant, But Motherhood Is Extraordinary
by Sarah Mitchell
Sep. 30, 2023
Every so often, I find myself reminiscing about my younger days, reflecting on the person I used to be. I can vividly recall those magical nights spent atop my roof, gazing at the grand thunderstorms sweeping across Kansas while chatting on the phone. The scent of rain mingling with the warmth of the shingles still lingers in my mind.
I remember the delightful freedom of staying up late on a weekend, knowing I had no obligations to rise early the next day. I could sleep in as long as I liked and ease into the day at my own pace.
Driving down country roads with the windows rolled down and the music turned up, I embraced the sweet summer air and the flirtations at traffic lights.
I recall taking my sweet time getting ready—an hour would pass, and yet I still managed to be late. Shopping alone, wandering through the mall, and enjoying dinner without interruption are cherished memories.
Back then, my stress revolved around whether a boy would call, who was dating whom, or the sheer horror of having no weekend plans. It wasn’t selfishness; it was simply a time when I was focused on myself. I was spontaneous, a hopeless romantic, a dreamer unaware of the changes life would bring.
Now, it’s easy to romanticize those carefree days while navigating the intricate world of motherhood. I always envisioned a life full of meaning, not realizing how small my big life could be. I’m not off changing the world with the Peace Corps as I once dreamed; I haven’t traveled extensively, and my plans to visit Africa are still just plans.
These days, I often find myself interrupted during lunch to provide moral support as my child has a bathroom visit. I’m busy serving juice, changing diapers, and feeling overwhelmed when my energetic three-year-old goes into full chaos mode. A trip to Target has become a brief escape from the house. My routine includes spoon-feeding, preparing sandwiches, refolding laundry after little hands have gotten to it, cleaning bathrooms with my child “helping” by splashing water everywhere, and trying to keep track of everyone’s belongings.
I wake up to a small voice asking if we can snuggle. My home is filled with the joyful sounds of toddler songs and baby babble. I receive sweet “I wub you too” responses, and I find myself showered with slobbery, snotty kisses. I sing “You Are My Sunshine” on repeat while carrying a baby on my hip. I’ve traded makeup and pants for comfort, yet my husband still insists I look beautiful.
Sometimes, I do drift back to those simpler times before motherhood, lingering there for a moment or even an entire afternoon depending on the day’s challenges. However, I always return to the present, to my boys and my partner, and I would choose this life time and time again.
One day, I’ll enjoy sleeping in again, but I know I’ll miss the tiny voice that used to wake me up. I’ll travel the world and find myself longing for the days spent building Legos in the living room. I’ll reminisce about tiny laundry piles and the fingerprints on windows. I’ll get in a car without buckling a single car seat, and I’ll miss having someone to lift into the shopping cart and chat with during errands. The days may feel long, but the years fly by. While I may not have saved the world yet, the dreamer in me remains alive and well. The greatest dream I’ve ever had is my current reality. I’m living it every day, and I’m completely in love.
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Summary
This article reflects on the transformation from a carefree youth to the fulfilling yet chaotic life of motherhood. While nostalgia for the past is common, the author emphasizes the joy and love found in parenting, expressing a deep appreciation for the current chapter of life.