As we approach nearly a year of navigating the challenges posed by a global pandemic, it’s clear that its consequences have been devastating for many. Marginalized communities, particularly Black and LGBTQ+ individuals, have faced disproportionate hardships during this time. Parents, too, have been significantly affected. However, conversations surrounding the pandemic often revolve around a narrow perspective that assumes all parents fit into binary, heterosexual, and cisgender molds. Articles frequently focus on women leaving their jobs to care for children, with narratives highlighting the emotional and physical burdens placed on mothers, while overlooking the diverse experiences of other parents.
While it’s undeniable that mothers are feeling overwhelmed and stressed, it’s crucial to ask: compared to whom? When discussing parenting, how are we defining terms like mother, father, or parent? Are we recognizing the presence of queer and non-binary individuals in these discussions, or are we merely reflecting a singular viewpoint?
The media often frames parenting through a lens that prioritizes straight and cisgender narratives, leading to the misconception that men are less affected by the pandemic’s strains. Although cisgender heterosexual men may indeed face fewer burdens, the reality is that many other parents, including queer, transgender, and non-binary individuals, are navigating significant challenges as well.
As a queer, non-binary parent, I often find myself excluded from mainstream parenting conversations. Even in “normal” times, I struggle to find spaces where I am acknowledged and respected. Identifying as non-binary complicates my ability to engage in gendered parenting discussions, and being a non-biological parent further adds layers of complexity. The societal tendency to categorize parental roles simplifies our experiences, which should be relatable enough to find common ground. Yet, it often fails to do so. The frequency with which I am asked how I “got” my children or what names my kids call me serves as a reminder of the assumptions that persist. Add in persistent misgendering, and the typical parenting challenges are compounded by ignorance, homophobia, and transphobia.
For many outside the straight and cisgender realm, the curiosity surrounding our identities often leads to exclusion rather than inclusion. If you’re a transgender dad who has given birth or a non-binary parent, it can feel as though society is pushing you back into the closet from which you bravely emerged.
While the pandemic has certainly impacted gender equality, it’s important to recognize that multiple genders are feeling the strain. Yes, mothers and women have made significant sacrifices, but transgender dads and non-binary parents are grappling with equal challenges, often without the support or recognition they deserve. It’s disheartening to be overlooked in discussions that focus solely on cisgender experiences, especially when our realities are equally valid.
As marginalized groups, we should not be in competition for recognition or support. The pandemic has starkly illuminated how little space is often provided for diverse identities, particularly in parenting discussions. The current political climate adds to the burden; policies that roll back rights for transgender individuals and the rising influence of anti-LGBTQ+ groups only exacerbate the pressures we face. The intersection of parenting with these challenges during the pandemic is a heavy load to bear.
I’m not seeking sympathy; rather, I’m advocating for the inclusion of transgender and non-binary parents in all parenting dialogues. It’s vital to reframe our discussions around the impacts of COVID-19 on parents to encompass the full spectrum of experiences. I don’t need articles that simply recount the difficulties I already know; I want to see acknowledgment of my existence and a shift towards more inclusive language that fosters a sense of community. The struggles we face are real, and we deserve to share our stories without being sidelined.
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- Impact of COVID-19 on LGBTQ+ parents
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Summary:
The pandemic has disproportionately affected marginalized groups, including transgender and non-binary parents. Mainstream discussions often overlook these individuals, framing parenting experiences through a binary and cisgender lens. It is crucial to include diverse parental identities in conversations about the pandemic’s impact, recognizing the unique challenges they face without competition for acknowledgment.