How can I avoid developing a strong dislike for humanity as we navigate these challenging times?
Written by Jamie Carter
Feb. 18, 2022
I find myself sinking into the same spot on the couch every evening after my kids are tucked in. Wrapped in a blanket, I crack open a cold Diet Coke and indulge in M&Ms while aimlessly scrolling through social media. Before the pandemic, I would occasionally roll my eyes at some posts, but they generally provided light-hearted entertainment. Now, after two years of a disrupted routine where in-person interactions feel fraught, every post seems like a personal affront to my parenting skills, leaving me feeling drained.
Seeing someone enjoy a tropical vacation fills me with resentment. Watching a friend excel at homeschooling makes me feel inadequate, while large indoor gatherings leave me bewildered. Political rants and carefree attitudes only fuel my anger and annoyance. Within moments of scrolling, I convince myself that my kitchen is too cramped, my thighs are too large, and I need a wardrobe makeover. I feel pressured to teach my four-year-old to ride a bike, buy ice skates for my boys, and have my husband build me a desk from the lumber piled up in the yard. I end up frustrated with myself and irritated by everyone else.
So, what’s really happening here? Social media used to occupy just a small part of my social life. I interacted with people in person, felt their energy, and enjoyed conversations. Now, with three young kids and a baby born during the pandemic, I’ve kept my family largely isolated. Coffee meet-ups have been replaced by endless scrolling through Instagram, and laughter at the playground has been swapped for TikTok dances. Real human interactions have given way to brightly-lit squares filled with self-centered content, divisive opinions, and loud commentary.
Oh, you hiked three miles with your kids and found a baby salamander? That’s lovely.
Your child is swan diving into an infinity pool on a Caribbean vacation? Fantastic.
You’re avoiding plastic toys for Christmas and banning perishable water bottles at your child’s birthday party? Kudos to you.
Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get my daughter to participate in a virtual speech session while washing my sons’ masks, downing a quick CBD gummy, and boosting antibodies for my baby.
Everything feels overwhelming and inauthentic. Even text messages and brief interactions during drop-offs feel strained, like exchanges loaded with opinions and subtle bragging. Is it the content that’s making me dislike people, or is it my own mindset?
Aside from pandemic-related content, much of what’s shared online is the same self-serving nonsense it’s always been. However, perhaps my perspective has shifted. Everything seems to hit differently when you feel isolated and frustrated. Now, when I see someone enjoying a new experience, instead of feeling happy for them, I’m reminded of all the opportunities I’ve missed. I hear about others’ achievements and confront my own insecurities about the choices I’ve made during this time, rather than celebrating their joy. The irritation I feel when I see someone’s newly renovated mudroom or flawlessly arranged breakfast likely stems from my own burnout.
So, how can I avoid developing a complete aversion to humanity during this time?
I believe the first step is acknowledging my emotions for what they are: exaggerated reactions to the pandemic stress. It’s a classic case of “it’s not you, it’s me.” Limiting my social media use should also be beneficial, especially since we know it often impacts our mental health negatively. Rediscovering joy in face-to-face interactions is crucial. And, of course, seeking therapy can provide the support we all need during these times.
Let’s see how it unfolds.
Jamie Carter is a former attorney and mother of four who enjoys sharing her candid thoughts. She resides in Beverly, Massachusetts, and can be found on Instagram @jamiecarter.
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In summary, the pandemic has drastically altered my perception of social interactions, making me more sensitive and critical of others. Recognizing these feelings and taking steps to address them, such as limiting social media use and seeking real human connections, is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship with humanity.