During the holiday season, my partner surprised me with a sewing machine. While I had some basic sewing skills, the urgency of creating a costume for my son’s Christmas pageant was a motivation I needed. I successfully crafted three magi headpieces with relative ease.
Following this, I sought out other simple projects and settled on making Christmas-themed pillowcases for everyone. I immersed myself in the dining room, where I had set up my machine, ironing and pinning fabric until I found a sense of joy. In that moment, I wasn’t anxious about my husband’s tardiness or the overwhelming chaos of daily life; I was content, lost in the rhythm of sewing.
As someone who experiences moderate to severe anxiety, I often find myself fixated on trivial details that seem insignificant to others—like the disarray on my kitchen table or the irrational fear that my husband might meet with an accident on his way home. My worries frequently spiral into social anxiety, which has even begun to extend into my online interactions. Platforms like Facebook and other social media often amplify my fears about the world, from potential disasters to societal injustices.
However, when I’m sewing, I find an escape. I can scroll through Pinterest for patterns without engaging with the latest distressing news or updates. My husband would often grade papers while the kids made a mess around the house, and I relished this time away from parenting duties. My drawers quickly filled with creations born from recycling old clothing.
I sewed and sewed, finding temporary relief from my anxiety until I realized I was neglecting my children. My oldest expressed a desire to learn sewing, which prompted us to plan a quilt project together, rekindling our connection through this craft.
It’s not uncommon for individuals dealing with anxiety, whether on medication or not (I’m currently on a substantial regimen), to immerse themselves in a single pursuit. This coping mechanism can lead to obsessively focusing on one activity to escape overwhelming emotions. I’ve previously memorized the entire musical Hamilton, crocheted an array of items, and engaged in attachment parenting—all to redirect my mind from anxiety and the emotional turmoil that often manifests as rage.
However, these obsessions can also lead to overspending. Whether it’s yarn, books, or fabric for sewing, the costs can accumulate quickly. Although I sometimes miss spending time with my kids, I find comfort in the act of sewing, which provides me with a sense of order amidst chaos.
It’s important to acknowledge that while I find solace in these pursuits, they may prevent me from addressing deeper feelings related to current events or personal concerns. I recognize the need to confront my social anxiety, particularly the triggers that arise from social media interactions, instead of simply retreating into my projects.
The sewing machine stands as a shiny symbol of comfort, providing a predictable structure in a chaotic world. For now, it serves as my coping mechanism, allowing me to navigate through each day.
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Summary:
Anxiety can often manifest as obsessive behavior, where individuals immerse themselves in activities like sewing or reading as coping mechanisms. While these obsessions can offer temporary relief, they may also lead to neglecting personal relationships and deeper emotional issues that require attention. Finding a balance between these pursuits and addressing underlying anxieties is crucial for overall well-being.