In a curious twist, the NRA has taken beloved fairy tales and infused them with firearms, promoting the idea that an increase in weaponry leads to enhanced safety. Imagine if Little Red Riding Hood had been armed; perhaps the Big Bad Wolf would have thought twice before threatening her. And instead of two innocent children, why not transform Hansel and Gretel into heroic figures with rifles in hand?
Amelia Greene, a self-proclaimed “patriot and blogger,” has reimagined these stories for the NRA Family website, creating versions that are both unsettling and dull. For instance, Little Red Riding Hood is now titled Little Red Riding Hood (Has A Gun), while Hansel and Gretel is retitled Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns). Quite the clever rebranding!
In the introduction to these reworked tales, the editor poses a question: “What if Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel, and Gretel had been educated on firearm safety?” Yes, there is indeed an NRA Family website, complete with a logo that might induce more discomfort than nostalgia.
Little Red Riding Hood’s New Adventure
In this new rendition of Little Red Riding Hood, the protagonist strides into the woods with a “rifle slung over her shoulder.” Upon encountering the Big Bad Wolf, his predatory grin vanishes at the sight of her weapon. In a twist of fate, when the Wolf reaches grandma’s house before Red, she thwarts her impending doom by retrieving her shotgun, ensuring her own safety.
Together, Red and her grandmother secure the Wolf, who is then carried away by a huntsman, leaving them to revel in their newfound sense of security. This version is certainly a far cry from a comforting bedtime story.
The Transformation of Hansel and Gretel
Hansel and Gretel‘s narrative has also undergone a radical transformation. Instead of being lost children, they are now young hunters, attempting to support their family when they stumble upon a witch’s candy cottage. The original tale’s dark themes seem to be conveniently overlooked, and instead of rescuing trapped children, they prepare for an encounter with the witch: “Hansel unlocked the cage and opened the door. The hinges creaked, and the witch’s snoring ceased, leaving them in a tense silence.”
Their parents, thrilled to see them return from their “hunting trip” with food, are soon regaled with stories of their adventure in the witch’s lair. The narrative concludes with a plot to confront the witch, blending hunting with fairy tale tropes in a way that may leave the Brothers Grimm turning in their graves.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, the NRA’s reimagining of fairy tales introduces firearms into classic narratives, creating versions that are unsettling and devoid of the original charm. The tales are transformed into odd cautionary stories with a focus on self-defense, while simultaneously stripping away the whimsy that once defined them.