The beloved childhood toy, Teddy Ruxpin, has made a chilling return, and parents might want to think twice before introducing this latest incarnation to their kids. The new Teddy Ruxpin promises to be even more unsettling than its predecessor.
For those who remember the original Teddy, he was a talking bear equipped with a cassette player in his back (a concept that now seems rather disturbing). He would read stories to children in a voice that was both captivating and eerie, as his mouth moved and his lifeless eyes blinked slowly. If you need a reminder of just how creepy he was, just take a look back.
I can still recall frantically removing Teddy’s batteries each night as a preschooler, convinced that he would come to life in my dreams. I feared that even without power, he might somehow watch me while I slept, biding his time for an opportune moment. Our relationship was definitely one of love mixed with fear, and the truce between us was always unspoken.
Now, as an adult, the new version of Teddy has me equally on edge. I’ve dubbed him Teddy WhatTheFucksPin™.
According to reports from Mashable, the original Teddy made his debut in September 1985. Fast forward 31 years, and Wicked Cool Toys has replaced the cassette deck with an iPad app, yet the inner monstrosity seems to persist. His eyes are now a vivid blue and animated, filled with almost sinister energy. They dart back and forth as he speaks and even change shapes—think red hearts, spinning snowflakes, and an unsettling dilated look that suggests possession. It’s hard to fathom how any child wouldn’t find this terrifying.
This updated version, now armed with a new level of creepiness, makes me nostalgic for the simpler days when Teddy’s eyes just moved instead of glowing ominously. It seems like a group of executives brainstormed ways to ensure kids would hide under their covers in sheer terror. Based on the end result, they certainly succeeded!
Fortunately, Teddy 2.0 won’t hit the shelves until August 2017. Until then, maybe consider making connections with local priests, just in case this little harbinger of doom ends up as a holiday gift.
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In summary, the revamped Teddy Ruxpin is set to make waves with its eerie design and unsettling animations. While it promises to rekindle childhood nostalgia, it also raises new concerns about how children might react to its more sinister features.