Every morning, my partner Alex stirs awake and instinctively pulls his long, slender arm across my body. He buries his chin into my shoulder, his lips brushing against my ear, dry with sleep. In a voice still thick with dreams, he begins to sing—well, it’s more of a chant, really. Not exactly pitch-perfect, but the sentiment is what matters.
The words are always the same: “You are the most beautiful wife in the world…” My hair stands on end, and I can feel every nerve in my body tuning into his declaration.
I’m clad in cropped leggings with a sizable hole in the back and a simple white tank top—no bra. My last shower was two nights ago, I think. My hair is a tangled mess against the pillow, hiding the drool that must have escaped my mouth during the night. Let’s just say I’m far from the title of “most beautiful wife in the world.”
In fact, I doubt I’d even make the Top 100. If there were a contest, a “Who is the Most Beautiful Wife in the World” pageant, I’d likely be disqualified for the state of my leg hair alone.
But here’s the kicker: he genuinely sees me as that wife. He believes I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever known.
Me?
Before I met him, I had four children. My stretch marks have spread across unexpected places—behind my knees and above my ribs. I have a torso that seems too long for my short legs, which dangle awkwardly when I sit at my desk. I wear a size ten in jeans and possess an arsenal of Spanx. When I run (a rare occurrence, usually only if I’m being chased or trying to get to Everything’s $1 Day at the thrift store), my body jostles in a way that feels chaotic. It’s like a rogue fruit display, bouncing around with every step. And he’s witnessed it all. In all its glory.
He’s seen it and still thinks I’m THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WIFE IN THE WORLD.
I needed to explore a few possibilities. First, after conducting various at-home eye tests with every app available on my phone, I’ve concluded that his vision is perfectly fine. So, the idea that he doesn’t truly see me is debunked.
Secondly, I can confidently dismiss the notion that he’s never seen anyone else naked—he was married before me and likely has glimpsed the pages of a magazine or two, purely for the “quality writing” and “informative stories,” of course.
So how does he perceive me as beautiful when I see only flaws and chaos?
I can blame this on societal standards.
Not you, specifically, but maybe the coworker in the cubicle next to you. Or your seventh-grade teacher. Perhaps even the salesperson at Victoria’s Secret who informed me they didn’t carry my size in the store.
They are the ones to blame.
But while you’re in the shower, wishing for a flatter belly, your partner is likely just trying to catch a glimpse of you. Isn’t that right?
If you turned around and said, “Hey, let’s go for it,” do you really think he’d reply, “Sure, but let’s dim the lights to hide those stretch marks”? Really?
The truth is, while we may think we’d be more attractive with a tummy tuck or ten fewer pounds, our partners often find us incredibly appealing just as we are. I’ve done my research, and it’s a consensus.
So, who’s telling you that your body doesn’t measure up?
Only those who don’t truly matter. Only those you don’t know personally. Only that same voice that tells you you’re not a good enough parent or deserving of a promotion or shouldn’t wear that dress.
And who reassures you that your body is perfectly fine?
Only the one who shares your bed every night. The one who sees you without any barriers, ready to drop everything for a moment of intimacy. Only that morning voice whispering to me, “You are the most beautiful wife in the world,” while I close my eyes and let him guide me toward self-acceptance.
For those navigating the journey of parenthood, be sure to check out this insightful post about the home insemination kit for your needs. Also, for more resources related to pregnancy and conception, visit this excellent guide from WebMD.
In summary, our partners often see us in a way that transcends societal expectations and insecurities. Embracing that love can lead to a more positive self-image and acceptance of ourselves as we truly are.