Every month, like clockwork, I’m alerted by a notification from my child’s school informing me that they’ve conducted their routine lockdown drill. This message reassures me that it was merely a drill, prompting me to remain calm. However, my concern runs deep.
The reality of my son’s autism permeates every facet of his existence. I am filled with dread, fearing that he won’t be able to protect himself during these critical procedures, and it’s due to his own actions.
Typically, we hear of teachers guiding their students into closets or bathrooms, where they huddle together in silence. But what does my son do? He talks—excitedly sharing with everyone that a surprise is about to happen. His unique blend of autism and innocence leads him to believe this is a game of hide-and-seek or a fun surprise party. He whispers loudly to those around him to “be quiet!” while failing to comprehend that his own silence is vital for the safety of everyone in that space.
This situation fills me with resentment. I despise that this aspect of his educational journey exists. It’s disheartening to think that his autism, combined with his communication challenges, could pose a safety risk for himself and others. If he makes any noise, he inadvertently risks exposing everyone in his hiding spot. Though he means no harm, it’s the harsh reality.
When my son’s teacher first brought this to my attention, I felt my heart sink. She seemed unfazed, and it became clear that he isn’t the only child who struggles with this understanding. He simply lacks the awareness of the gravity of the situation, believing it’s a drill about having fun rather than about survival. I was informed that this was a skill they would work on, but it left me feeling helpless.
Part of me is furious that this is even a concern in my son’s life. Why should we have to navigate this fear? The prospect that he could unintentionally reveal their hiding place to someone with harmful intentions is a terrifying thought. I always thought that teaching life skills involved preparing for independence, but now it feels like we’re trying to ensure he stays alive.
With each monthly notification, I find myself grappling with these thoughts. I wish I could find a solution, but I’m at a loss. This experience is yet another challenge of autism that many may overlook until faced with it directly.
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In conclusion, the fear of lockdown drills highlights the unique challenges faced by parents of children with autism. The need to balance safety with understanding is a constant battle that many families endure.