We’re in the checkout line, and I’m doing my best to prevent my toddler from tossing random items from the cart onto the conveyor belt while also keeping my older kids close. That’s when a woman behind me decides it’s the perfect moment to chat—because, naturally, that’s what some people do. She smiles and gestures toward my kids, saying, “I adopted a cat last year. Isn’t adoption wonderful?”
I can’t hide my reaction; I give her the look that says it all. Did she really just compare bringing home a cat to my children’s adoptions? This isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last, that someone has made such an ignorant comparison. Rescuing an animal by filling out a few forms and paying a fee is nothing like adopting a child. Not even remotely.
I fully understand that many people choose to welcome pets into their lives instead of having children. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that choice, and I don’t judge it. However, equating the complex, often exhausting process of adopting a child to simply selecting a pet based on how cute it is is just not acceptable.
Curious Strangers and Clueless Remarks
Sadly, this isn’t the only clueless remark we hear. Because my children are black and my husband and I are white, we often attract curious strangers who feel compelled to inquire about our family. We’ve been approached in airports, parks, and stores, with people rushing to ask if our kids are “real” siblings, why we didn’t have biological children, how much the adoptions “cost,” and other deeply personal questions. I’ve even been told multiple times that I’m likely to get pregnant now that we’ve adopted. We’ve heard it all, and I’ve got responses for every single one—none of which involve sharing my children’s private adoption stories. That’s none of your business.
The Holiday Season and Adoption Misconceptions
As we approach the holiday season, the casual use of the term “adoption” becomes even more irritating. Recently, a woman in a local parenting group was excited to “adopt” elderly residents for Christmas. She meant she was buying socks and lotions for people in nursing homes. While I think it’s wonderful to give gifts to those who may not receive any, I can’t help but question why “adoption” is the term of choice here.
I know that some might argue that the dictionary definition of adoption is broad and can apply in various contexts, but this isn’t just about semantics. Adoption is a deeply meaningful commitment. It involves a long process filled with paperwork, background checks, and interviews. The journey to finalize an adoption can take months or even years, and it’s filled with emotional highs and lows.
Language Matters
What adoption isn’t, is a quick feel-good moment or a word to toss around to create positive vibes. While it’s crucial to acknowledge and support those in need, whether they be animals or people, we should use language that accurately reflects our actions. You’re not adopting a puppy, supporting a person, or helping a project; you’re assisting, donating, or rescuing.
I wish more people would reflect on what adoption truly entails rather than casually using the term for attention. Let’s reserve the word “adoption” for the families who are going through the rigorous process of bringing a child into their lives. Instead of using it for every worthy cause, let’s choose words that truly describe our actions—like fostering, donating, or assisting.
Further Reading
For those interested in further information about home insemination and the journey to parenthood, you might find this post insightful: Home Insemination Insights. Also, for more details on adoption and related topics, I recommend checking out Intracervical Insemination, as they provide valuable insights. Additionally, for individuals dealing with infertility, Mount Sinai Infertility Resources is an excellent resource.
Conclusion
In summary, it’s important to be mindful of the term “adoption” and reserve it for the profound commitment it represents. Let’s strive to use language that respects the experiences of those who have gone through the adoption process, rather than diluting its meaning for the sake of convenience.