If you navigate the world with the benefits of thin privilege, your plus-size friends might not be the best audience for your diet discussions. Let’s clarify: thin privilege doesn’t imply you don’t struggle with body image, nor does it mean you fit every conventional definition of being thin. It merely indicates that your body aligns more closely with societal norms, allowing you to move through life without the constant obstacles that plus-size individuals often face.
If you find yourself in this position, it’s crucial to reflect on who you’re speaking to when you share your weight loss journey. I’ve seen firsthand how discussions about body size can evoke strong reactions. Many may disagree with this perspective, but that doesn’t invalidate it.
Before you dive into a lengthy account of the 14 pounds you shed through extreme diets and rigorous workouts, pause to consider whether your plus-size friend is genuinely interested in hearing about it. The emotions surrounding living in a larger body are incredibly nuanced. If you’ve never experienced life as a plus-size person, it’s hard to grasp how complex those feelings can be.
That’s precisely why I’m here: to shed light on some points you might not have previously considered.
Understanding Diet Culture
First and foremost, diet culture is fundamentally flawed. You may find yourself dieting because society has conditioned you to feel inadequate unless you fit a very thin mold. This pressure affects everyone, regardless of their size; every extra pound can feel like a signal of failure. This system is intentionally designed that way, and the multi-billion-dollar diet industry profits from it.
For those of us in larger bodies, the weight of societal expectations can be overwhelming. To protect our mental health, some of us have had to step back from the relentless thin-centric messages we encounter daily, learning to appreciate our bodies as they are—worthy of care and beauty—whether we choose to change them or not.
The Impact of Diet Conversations
When you shift the focus from weight loss to health and happiness, diet conversations become tedious. Hearing about your dietary choices can make plus-size individuals acutely aware of how you perceive our bodies. Approaching a plus-size person to express your disdain for fatness (even your own) is akin to lamenting your spouse’s business trip to a widow at a funeral—context matters.
I’ve lived with the awareness that society often deems me lazy, unattractive, and unhealthy based solely on my size. This bias has been ingrained in me since birth. While with supportive friends, I can escape the burdens of being labeled “the fat girl.” My loved ones provide a refuge from the relentless societal disdain.
When you discuss your diet, what I hear is: “I care about you, but I will do anything to avoid looking like you.” You might not mean it that way; perhaps you accept all bodies except your own. However, your intentions don’t lessen the discomfort your words can cause. As adults, we must acknowledge that the impact of our words often carries more significance than our intentions.
Consideration for Friends with Eating Disorders
Additionally, your diet conversations can be harmful to those struggling with eating disorders. Many individuals in larger bodies have faced disordered eating, and it’s all too easy to slip back into those harmful patterns. Disordered eating doesn’t discriminate based on size; anyone can suffer. I’ve known many plus-size individuals who have felt a sense of pride in going to bed with hunger pangs, convinced by diet culture that it will lead to weight loss and, therefore, greater worth.
A casual coffee date or a birthday party isn’t usually the right environment for addressing deep-seated issues like these.
Respecting Boundaries
Ultimately, choosing not to discuss your weight loss efforts around your plus-size friends won’t harm you, but sharing without consideration can negatively impact them. If you want to share your journey, ask first. Some plus-size individuals may be open to the conversation, and that’s perfectly fine. If they express interest, feel free to share as much as you like. It’s not that you shouldn’t celebrate your achievements, but it’s essential to recognize that a plus-size person may not always feel comfortable discussing diet topics.
If you genuinely care about your friends, respecting their boundaries is vital.
Further Reading
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