Parenting
The Landscape of Motherhood by Jessica Lane
Originally Published: May 30, 2015
There was a time when I found myself gripped by fear over what seemed like a simple chapter in my eighth-grade science textbook. That chapter on plate tectonics struck me with an intensity I couldn’t place, filling me with dread over the shifting plates beneath our feet that could cause upheaval at any moment. I wasn’t necessarily afraid of the science itself; I understood that change was a part of life. Yet, despite this understanding, I was profoundly unsettled.
Even at 14, I recognized that the concept of plate tectonics mirrored my life’s inevitable changes—changes I would revisit each time my personal landscape shifted dramatically. What do these shifts resemble? They’re unmistakable: graduations, job changes, marriage, relocations, and, of course, children. Each one represents a significant earthquake in the fabric of our existence.
I vividly recall the anticipation and anxiety surrounding the birth of my second child, Oliver. It had been four years since my daughter Mia arrived, and I dreaded the thought of returning to diaper bags and sleepless nights. Mia commanded so much attention that I feared Oliver would be overshadowed, unable to find his voice amidst the cacophony. Little did I know, both would often talk over each other, with the television blaring in the background and my husband vying for my attention as well. Words would never be in short supply in our home.
I managed to navigate the transition from one child to two and adapted to this new reality. Other shifts followed, from moving to a larger home to undertaking necessary renovations. I’ve faced job changes, increased responsibilities, and health challenges, each one altering my landscape further. I often clung to a false sense of control, managing details like packing lunches the night before and keeping our family calendar updated.
While the significant shifts—those that feel seismic—are easy to identify, there’s also a continuous, subtle motion occurring beneath the surface. It’s like the earth beneath my feet is constantly shifting, and I often only take stock and appreciate what I have after a significant upheaval. Yet, with constant change, I wonder: am I pausing to appreciate the beauty of the journey as it unfolds?
Recently, I’ve sensed another shift approaching, one that feels more profound than the others. It’s not just about my children, though they are changing as well. Mia is on the brink of entering middle school, and Oliver is finishing up his early elementary years. My career is stable; while I’m not coasting, I’m not exerting myself as I did during those intense early years of balancing work and motherhood. Yet, I feel a sense of unrest.
For over a decade, I’ve been a full-time working mother and wife, and I often feel constrained by societal expectations that suggest I cannot have it all without sacrifice. I’ve worked diligently to raise kind, wonderful children who, despite occasional challenges, generally bring joy to my life. I’ve strived for success in my career, achieving more than I once thought possible. I put effort into maintaining a nurturing home and a growing partnership with my spouse. Yet, there’s an unsettling realization that this isn’t enough.
I have accumulated a lot, yet I’m not savoring it as I should. While I’ve reached significant milestones, the breathtaking views I anticipated are often obscured by the clouds of hard work and effort. However, there’s still time to shift my perspective, to find joy in the journey ahead. I can anticipate future peaks in my children’s lives, my career, and in uncharted aspects of myself. It’s a fortunate realization that enables me to seek joy in my everyday experiences, instead of merely waiting for the next triumph.
Motherhood teaches us that we cannot only take stock after an earthquake; there’s beauty in the valleys too. We can’t control the ever-changing landscape. The world evolves, and with it, we must learn to slow our pace, seek support, and remember to appreciate the new vistas we encounter. For more insights on navigating these changes, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination. And if you’re interested in exploring home insemination options, visit this informative post on our site.
In summary, life as a mother is a perpetual journey of adaptation and acceptance. Embracing both the peaks and valleys allows us to appreciate the beauty found within the chaos and changes of motherhood.