Can you do self-insemination at home ?
I found myself sitting in the dentist’s office with my two sons, who were 9 and 7 at the time. My older son has always been particularly anxious when it comes to anything medical. A few years back, he was hospitalized for a week due to a mysterious illness, undergoing numerous tests and receiving IV fluids around the clock. His blood was drawn every four hours, and the discomfort left emotional scars that linger to this day. As a result, he often feels anxious about doctor visits, even for routine check-ups that I assure him won’t involve needles.
During a recent dental appointment, his nervousness was palpable, especially when it came to taking x-rays. At one point, the dental hygienist inquired, “Is he on medication for anxiety?” I was caught off guard but responded truthfully, explaining his past medical experiences and how they contributed to his unease during this visit.
However, I soon realized that my son’s anxiety extended beyond just medical situations. He often exhibited signs of nervousness, engaged in fidgeting, and displayed ticks that reflected his unease. Initially, I questioned, “What is wrong with my son?” But after that dental visit, I shifted my perspective and began to reflect on the broader context. Instead of focusing on my child, I started to consider, “What’s wrong with our society? Why did I believe the problem lay with him?”
As parents, my partner and I strive to raise our children to be compassionate and aware of the world around them. My son’s anxiety was, in fact, a reflection of our success. His sensitivity to the world showed he was empathetic and engaged. Labeling him as “wrong” would only exacerbate his feelings of anxiety.
Within a ten-month span, my son faced multiple wildfires that led to evacuations from both school and home, significant loss of wildlife and property in our community, a school shooting at a nearby school that caused a lockdown, and the heartache of a friend suddenly ignoring him. He also began to grapple with the realities of climate change. Experiencing all this would naturally invoke anxiety in anyone, especially a young child.
Then, the COVID-19 pandemic emerged, forcing us into shelter-in-place. My son also became more aware of movements like Black Lives Matter and the ongoing violence against Black Americans, which affected him deeply as a child of a Black father. This culminated in him pulling out his hair, a physical manifestation of his anxiety.
At this point, I no longer asked, “What is wrong with my child?” because I understood there was nothing wrong with him. He was simply processing the complexities of the world around him. By recognizing that his feelings were valid, I found a sense of relief and began focusing on creating a healthy environment for our family.
We carved out time to discuss the state of the world, emphasizing stories of hope and joy, particularly those related to Black America. My son once asked, “Where is the joy? I need more joy,” prompting us to actively seek out uplifting narratives. We enrolled him in a fantastic Black Innovators course on Outschool and organized Imagination Exercise sessions with his aunt, who guides him through gentle meditation techniques. We also prioritize outdoor activities such as park walks, jogging, climbing trees, and community clean-ups.
Empowering him to take action in response to the challenges he sees has been crucial, as feeling powerless can heighten anxiety. He even developed a video game, pledging to donate 25% of the proceeds to Black Lives Matter and another 25% to COVID relief efforts. Currently, he’s researching homelessness in our community, working on an action-oriented project based on his findings.
His hair is growing back, and he’s showing fewer bald patches. His laughter has returned, and while the world still presents numerous challenges, I’ve come to realize that my child is not one of them. His empathy and awareness are among the best qualities he possesses. My son is all right.
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In summary, raising a child with anxiety can be challenging, but it’s essential to recognize that their feelings are a response to the world they live in. By fostering understanding and empathy, parents can create a supportive environment that encourages their children to engage positively with the complexities of life.