My partner and I recently marked our 12th anniversary together, and our journey is undoubtedly as unique as anyone else’s—though perhaps not particularly extraordinary to anyone outside of us. In brief, we crossed paths over 16 years ago on a steamy August day during our law school orientation. The longer tale is only slightly more captivating, involving numerous awkward phone conversations, a few too many burritos, a generous amount of cosmos, a late-night drive in a compact car, and much debate over what truly qualifies as a first date.
I could easily spin a tale about love at first sight, describing a moment when the world shifted, calling him my “soul mate,” and flooding my social media with #soblessed posts. But that’s not really how it went down. Whenever I see #soblessed in relation to couples, I can’t help but cringe a little. So, I’ll skip that part.
Our love story is, in many respects, quite typical—just like many couples who have navigated the stages of dating, falling in love, and ultimately deciding that this is the one. This is the person I want to bicker with over the remote control, argue about savings plans and whether or not we need a new couch. This is the person whose late-night snoring I’ve grown to tolerate. This is the person I want to build a life with.
My partner and I met in our early 20s, and while we thought we were so mature and worldly, looking back, I blush at our youthful innocence and straightforward optimism. We were impulsive, maybe even reckless, but we had a blast. As Paul Valery said, “Love is being stupid together.” We were definitely both—stupid and madly in love, although there were times we were just plain crazy. As the years passed, we evolved. While we remain as devoted as ever, our love has matured into something calmer and more stable. Honestly, we’re just too exhausted to be impulsive anymore.
In long-term relationships, there comes a moment when you realize you’ve spent more years together than apart. We are approaching that milestone, and there’s so much to cherish about being married or in a committed relationship—friendship, camaraderie, and the connection that deepens through life’s ups and downs. It’s a partnership grounded not just in love but in teamwork, respect, and appreciation for each other. It means having each other’s backs—even when you might be rolling your eyes at one another behind closed doors.
One of the beautiful aspects of pairing off in your younger years is that you get to not only age together but also grow as individuals side by side. My partner and I navigated our wild 20s—the decade filled with exploration, passion, and a slew of questionable choices. Then we moved into our 30s, a time of settling down, responsibility, and a bit more wisdom in our decision-making.
As I stand on the brink of the next decade, I have no clue what challenges and changes lie ahead. What I do know—what I recognized back then and continue to know now—is that there is no one else I would rather face the uncertainties of life with. And isn’t that what marriage truly embodies? Growing up, growing old, and sometimes being a little foolish together.
Ultimately, it’s about knowing there’s no one else I’d prefer to be silly with, nor anyone I’d rather mature alongside or share the journey of life with. Because, let’s be clear, we’re not old yet.
For more insights on relationships, consider visiting this resource on infertility or explore ideas for couples at Cooking for Two. If you’re interested in starting a family, check out our post on home insemination kits to learn more.
Summary:
Finding your partner in your 20s allows for a unique journey of growing up together while navigating life’s challenges. It’s about building a strong foundation of love, friendship, and respect that evolves over time. As you face life’s uncertainties, there’s comfort in knowing you have someone to share the ups and downs with.