“Every dad has to do what he feels is necessary.” This line concluded a humorous advertisement that aired during the Super Bowl, featuring a father trailing his daughter on a date—popping up at the movies, the fair, and even dangling from a helicopter to intimidate her date, all in the name of “safety.” Starring comedian Mike Johnson, the ad is amusing, but the concept is outdated.
The archetype of the overprotective dad is ubiquitous: we see it in sitcoms, recurring jokes (“Have a son and only worry about one boy; have a daughter and you worry about all the boys”), social media memes (like that viral image of a dad inserting himself in his daughter’s prom pictures), and commercials (such as the one featuring Mike). While stereotypes often have a kernel of truth, this particular narrative has gone stale.
My objections to this tired trope are twofold. Firstly, as a mom of boys, it pains me to think that regardless of how respectful, kind, and considerate they are, there are those who might assume they harbor ill intentions. Other boys may judge them as cruel or deceitful. It frustrates me that my sons, who will inevitably deal with their own teenage challenges, are often viewed as incapable of managing their impulses. They deserve to be recognized for their character and held to a higher standard.
Secondly, at its essence, this stereotype suggests our daughters—young women—are unable to protect themselves and require the intervention of a man. This notion is not only harmful but also degrading. Women have long been conditioned, either overtly or subtly, to be coy or hard to get. This diminishes their autonomy and sexual agency. Young women are entirely capable of making their own choices about their bodies and relationships. Consent is clear: “no” means no, and “yes” means yes—there should be no ambiguity.
While I cannot personally relate to raising a teenage daughter, I can draw from my own experiences as one. My parents had strict rules, yet one of the best aspects of my upbringing was my father’s hands-off approach to my romantic life. Did he approve of every boy I dated? Certainly not—there were a few he outright disdained. However, he never restricted my dating life or attempted to intervene to “protect” me.
Instead, our discussions centered around my own empowerment. Was this boy good for me? Did he bring out the best in me, or was he stifling my spirit? My father never doubted my ability to navigate these situations independently. His distant, almost indifferent, attitude towards my relationships empowered me to make my own choices. Yes, I made mistakes and dated some unsuitable partners, but that’s part of growing up. Ultimately, when I met my husband, I was confident in my decision, guided by my own judgment rather than my father’s approval.
Perhaps we should shift the conversation from the stereotypical overprotective dad to one that highlights respectful young men and independent young women. Isn’t that what we aspire for our children? Isn’t that already who they are?
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Summary:
The stereotype of the overprotective father is not only outdated but harmful, perpetuating negative assumptions about young men and undermining the independence of young women. It’s crucial to foster a culture that promotes respect and autonomy in relationships, encouraging young people to make their own decisions without unnecessary interference.