I have a friend who goes out without a mask. I trust him completely—I know where he goes and that he’s taking precautions seriously. He’s one of the few people I can rely on in this way, which is why I avoid contact with others. My family relationships have shifted; some have become strained, while others remain strong based on mutual trust. Ultimately, it all boils down to one question: who would be truthful about their pandemic behavior?
We distanced ourselves from a family member after her story about seeing a friend kept changing. Initially, she claimed they just went to see a house together. Then it morphed into them riding in a car with masks, and later, they supposedly sat outside at a restaurant. But when we discovered her friend had posted a photo of them brunching together, we confronted her about our concerns. We could no longer trust her judgment regarding the pandemic and told her to quarantine before we could meet again.
When we finally saw her, she insisted, “Oh, I haven’t been anywhere,” even though we all knew she had. She removed her mask, disregarding our insistence that the safety measures were for her benefit. “I’m not going to get it,” she claimed. Really? That’s not how viruses function.
Who We Choose to See
Our social circle has shrunk considerably. I see my friend Alex, who is always honest with me, especially about the pandemic. We’ve known each other since our wild college days, and our friendship has survived everything from loss to awkward encounters. Other friends are more open about their social lives, but their safety measures don’t align with mine.
One friend works at a college, while another is involved in political activities and socializes frequently. I appreciate their honesty, which allows me to make informed choices about my own comfort levels. I feel safe around my husband’s family, too. They have been in strict isolation, even avoiding their grandchildren for months. They would never deceive me regarding the pandemic, unlike the family member we distanced ourselves from.
The Dangers of Dishonesty
Everyone has different levels of risk tolerance. However, lying to someone who is more cautious about their health is one of the most harmful things you can do. It’s a violation of trust—it’s saying that you know better than they do what they should do to stay safe. It strips others of their agency and the ability to make choices that protect their health.
My husband suffers from severe asthma and has an autoimmune disorder; if he contracts COVID-19, he could end up on a ventilator. I refuse to jeopardize his health so someone else can enjoy a social outing. When you lie about the pandemic, you make that decision for me, which is unfair and selfish.
I have friends who have made different choices regarding their pandemic behavior, but as long as they’re honest with me, I can respect their decisions. I simply won’t engage with those who lie about their actions. If you’re like Emily, who plans to host a large gathering this Thanksgiving, own your choices. Transparency fosters understanding, and I might even respect your decision if you plan to isolate afterward.
Final Thoughts
Don’t lie about the pandemic. Own your choices and be upfront. If your decisions impact others, it’s crucial to be honest about them, as that is the hallmark of friendship.
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Summary
Honesty about pandemic choices is critical for maintaining trust in friendships and protecting health. Individuals must acknowledge their risk tolerance and communicate openly about their actions. Transparency fosters understanding and respect, while dishonesty undermines relationships and can endanger others’ health.