Last Friday, I found myself, like many others, reeling from the shocking leaked tapes featuring Donald Trump. The sheer vulgarity and misogyny expressed left me feeling unsettled and disturbed. It was a sleepless night filled with thoughts that wouldn’t let go—like witnessing a train wreck, I couldn’t turn away.
As a woman, I instantly recalled my own experiences with harassment and unwanted advances. It became painfully clear that millions of women shared similar stories, underscoring the seriousness of this issue. The thought of someone so crass and disrespectful nearing the presidency was infuriating, especially with so many people defending his words as mere “locker room talk.” What he described was nothing short of sexual assault.
Throughout the weekend, my husband and I vented our frustrations, carefully avoiding the explicit language around our children. However, my 9-year-old son was curious. He had been tracking the election closely and had already formed opinions, labeling Trump a bullying racist and xenophobe. I knew it was essential to have an open discussion with him—not just to encourage his interest in politics but also because he needed to understand the implications of such behavior.
That evening, I explained the situation to him without using the offensive language. I shared that Trump had said some very inappropriate things about women, discussing how he used his power to exploit them. I mentioned his remarks about grabbing women without consent, and even without using the exact term, my son’s reaction was telling. “Really?” he asked, followed by, “Did he get in trouble for it?”
I had to explain that while some political support was waning, accountability was uncertain unless there was concrete evidence of his actions. When he asked if Trump was still running for president, I had to reluctantly confirm that he was.
This challenging conversation surprisingly opened the door to valuable lessons. We discussed the gravity of these events and the potential lessons they could impart. In those moments, I felt a glimmer of hope that something positive could emerge from this troubling situation.
Our dialogue reinforced that the principles I’ve instilled in him—about respecting personal space, understanding body autonomy, and standing against bullying—were being absorbed. We even ventured into other uncomfortable yet necessary topics.
Reasons to Engage in These Conversations
For parents hesitant about addressing Trump’s comments or other distressing election events, here are several compelling reasons to engage in these conversations:
- Clarifying Information: It’s crucial for our children to hear about difficult topics from us rather than peers, who may distort the facts. Kids are naturally curious and will pick up on everything around them. Providing them with accurate information equips them with the knowledge they need.
- Consequences of Bullying: Trump serves as a stark reminder of what can happen to bullies as they grow up. If more people had confronted his behavior earlier, perhaps we wouldn’t be in this situation. While that may be wishful thinking, it’s a lesson worth discussing.
- Rejecting Harmful Mentalities: I explained how Trump’s justification of his actions as typical male behavior is unacceptable. We talked about how prevalent the “boys will be boys” mentality is, even among younger children, and the importance of rejecting it.
- Understanding Personal Boundaries: Conversations about appropriate and inappropriate touch are vital. I’ve consistently taught my children about body autonomy—no one should touch private areas without consent, and they should respect others’ boundaries as well.
- Creating Open Channels for Discussion: My kids should know they can approach me with questions about any topic, no matter how taboo. I want them to feel safe discussing anything that makes them uncomfortable.
The day after our talk, I asked my son if he found it helpful. He simply replied, “Yeah,” but when prompted for more, he hit the nail on the head: “So that I will know what not to do.”
So, thank you, Donald Trump, for providing a cautionary tale. Let’s hope that parents everywhere take this opportunity to guide their children on what is unacceptable behavior, using your example to teach values that are the complete opposite of yours.
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In summary, discussing inappropriate comments and behaviors, particularly in the context of public figures, is essential for educating our children. It empowers them to recognize and reject poor conduct while reinforcing the values of respect and consent.