As a parent, you quickly learn that everyday items can end up in the most unexpected places. Milk finds its way into the cupboard, and you might end up discovering it days later, ready to be dumped down the sink. Foil might mysteriously vanish into the fridge, only to resurface behind a bag of grapes three days later. And let’s not even start on the times you find your morning coffee sitting in the microwave—cold and lonely—just as you’re about to start dinner. You sip it anyway.
It’s not just misplaced items that get lost; sometimes, we lose ourselves in the chaos. Keys vanish right when you need them. Important papers get buried under a mountain of crayons and toys. Often, we become so engrossed in raising our children that we forget about our friendships and the women we used to be.
When I became a mother, my own mother shared her secret for finding moments of peace. She would lie down on the floor in a sliver of sunlight between her bed and the window, taking refuge in a spot where we wouldn’t think to look. In those quiet moments, she could gather herself, but as mothers, we often lose ourselves unintentionally. What happens when we are no longer just “Mom”? When bedtime stories replace our own adventures in reading, and teaching our kids about friendship leaves little room for nurturing our own?
This is why I wholeheartedly believe in the power of a girls’ weekend. A few hours can offer a brief escape, but several days provide an opportunity to truly reconnect with ourselves and our friends. Some might see a weekend away as a luxury—like wanting the whole cake instead of just a slice. Others might worry about leaving their kids behind.
I was apprehensive before my first getaway, imagining I’d return to a chaotic scene—wrappers strewn across the floor, two frazzled kids, and a sink overflowing with unwashed dishes. Instead, I came back to a tidy house, happy kids, and a husband who had even managed to tackle some home improvement projects. I secretly wanted him to struggle, to truly understand the challenges of caring for kids full-time. He admitted it was tough, but he succeeded, and I realized he could handle it.
While he was busy impressing me, I was soaking up the sun on a trip from Orange County, California, to Cabo San Lucas with my friends. When you’re with the right crowd, there’s no need to play hostess. You can sip your coffee uninterrupted and lounge by the pool at your own pace.
You’ll be reminded of your actual name as you check into your hotel; you won’t have to worry about sand sticking to your car after a beach day. You’ll even ride a banana boat, laughing uncontrollably as you get thrown off. Meals become leisurely two-hour affairs, devoid of any worries about how many vegetables anyone has eaten, and you won’t have to lift a finger to clean up. You can sleep in, free from little ones knocking on your door or sneaking into bed with you.
During this time, you’ll discover new things about your friends, like their quirky shower music preferences or their love for card games. You’ll find the space to listen deeply when they share their challenges, and you’ll enjoy the simple pleasure of reading without interruptions. You’ll embrace the freedom of letting go; your kids need you, but they can also thrive without you for a few days.
Upon returning, you’ll bring home small tokens from your getaway—coconut soaps, candies, and bracelets that will delight your children. They’ll be excited to see you again, and you’ll be ready to re-engage as a mom, wife, and friend. You might even find time to check in on a friend’s family situation or invite another over for a game night.
You’ll feel invigorated, singing along to holiday tunes in the shower, and your kids will notice the renewed sparkle in your eyes. They’ll curl up next to you with their own books, sharing the joy of reading once more. And while the chaos of daily life continues—like finding your coffee in the microwave again—you’ll be centered in knowing who you are.
In summary, taking the time for a girls’ weekend isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessary retreat that allows mothers to reconnect with themselves and their friendships. It’s an opportunity to recharge, rediscover, and return home as a more balanced individual.