Each day begins with my commitment to my role as a mother to four black children and as a creator focused on anti-racism. While this work is a vital part of my life, it is also emotionally exhausting. Every action I take—or don’t take—directly affects my kids.
Recently, amidst the backdrop of confusion and anger, I’ve also felt profound sadness. Some of my white friends and family have opted to remain silent regarding the tragic deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and Breonna Taylor. Instead, they continue to share cheerful family photos and lighthearted memes on social media, clearly choosing to ignore the pressing issues at hand. I can’t help but notice who is voicing support and who is not; those who choose silence are, in effect, betraying our trust.
I find myself mentally cataloging those close to me who openly declare that Black Lives Matter and those who remain quiet. I take this silence personally. If someone claims to love my children and engages with our family’s life online, then I question why they aren’t speaking out against racial injustice.
In conversations with other black mothers, the sentiment is the same. They are aware of who is supporting the movement and who is posting messages like “all lives matter” or expressing neutrality. Those who remain silent are inadvertently siding with oppression. Their inaction is a choice—one that communicates compliance with the status quo. As the saying goes, silence is compliance; silence is violence.
Growing up, I learned that witnessing harm without intervening makes one complicit. In the fight against racism, there is no room for passive bystanders. White individuals must either stand as allies or be seen as oppressors. Those who attempt to remain neutral often do so out of white fragility, focusing on their own discomfort rather than addressing the issue at hand.
It’s crucial for anyone struggling with these topics to engage in self-reflection and learning. Ignoring the issue in hopes that it will dissipate is not the answer. Racism will not disappear if people choose to look the other way. Addressing these matters directly is essential.
I recognize that some may find it challenging to articulate their thoughts. It’s important to understand that one doesn’t need to craft a perfect message to express that racism is wrong. Even the simplest of statements can be more meaningful than silence.
I encourage everyone to read about anti-racism and to share these resources with their children. Following black voices on social media, watching pivotal documentaries like Ava Duvernay’s 13th, or the film Just Mercy can provide essential insights. Engage in conversations about race and commit to learning—declare, “I’m here to learn,” and follow through.
Don’t let feelings of guilt and fragility hinder your journey toward becoming an anti-racist. This is a collective issue, and dismantling systemic racism requires active participation from the white community.
Some may believe they are not racist, citing friendships with black individuals or claiming to be “colorblind.” Such notions downplay the ongoing struggles faced by marginalized communities and serve only to protect their own comfort. These attitudes are unproductive and lack empathy.
Racism is not confined to overt acts of hate; it permeates society in various forms, including stereotypes, microaggressions, and institutional biases. Choosing silence perpetuates the narrative that people of color are expendable. It sends a message that one values their comfort over the lives of others.
I urge my white friends and family to reconsider the impact of their silence. Their refusal to acknowledge racism not only harms my family but also affects every person of color they encounter. Either Black lives matter, or they do not—there is no middle ground.
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In summary, the silence of white friends and family regarding racial justice issues is not merely a personal affront; it signifies complicity and a lack of commitment to allyship. Engaging in the fight against racism requires active participation, and it’s essential for individuals to confront their discomfort and take a stand.