I genuinely care about whether my friends supported Trump or Biden.
There’s this meme circulating that says, “I’ll still be your friend if you voted for Trump, and I’ll still be your friend if you voted for Biden…” And it drives me crazy. The reality is, these two candidates are not interchangeable. While Joe Biden has his flaws, he’s a significant improvement over Donald Trump, who embodies racism, misogyny, and xenophobia. If you still back him after everything that’s transpired over the last four years, then frankly, I don’t want to be your friend. Supporting someone like him makes me question whether you truly care about me.
I recognize that some people might not mind who their friends vote for, but that’s not me. I know friends who cast ballots for Trump in 2016, and I suspect some did so again this year. One of them is a close friend I’ve known for years, and I was horrified when I learned of their choice. From the start, Trump made his intentions clear, and if someone I care about can support that, it raises serious doubts about our friendship. The friend I knew who voted for him? We didn’t speak for three years. I struggled to reconcile the person I knew with someone capable of such a choice. To many, that might not seem like a dealbreaker, but for me, it is.
Personal Identity and Political Ideology
As a Black queer woman from a low-income background, I’m acutely aware that this administration seeks to undermine my existence. I cannot be associated with anyone who even remotely shares that ideology. Most of my friends have been white, given my upbringing on Staten Island. I know I’m one of the few Black friends they have, often seen as the “good” Black person. Despite my accomplishments and upbringing, I still face the realities of being Black. A degree won’t protect me from racial profiling. If a police officer decides to stop me, my achievements won’t shield me from their assumptions based solely on my skin color.
None of my friends actively express racism, but I can’t be sure of their behavior when I’m not around. Just because they don’t make offensive jokes in my presence doesn’t mean they aren’t complicit when I’m not there. Living in an area where Trump supporters are prevalent, my friends likely know people who support him. Silence in the face of racism is complicity. Even if they disagree, if they stay silent, they’re accepting it.
Friendship and Shared Values
Some may need personal reasons to oppose Trump and his agenda. While I don’t want to be anyone’s token Black friend, I hope they think of me when considering their choices. We should all strive for a better and safer future for those we care about. The truth is that the president embodies white supremacy, as evident by his refusal to denounce it. When he told the Proud Boys to “stand down, and stand by,” it was a clear call to arms against marginalized communities. As a Black person, how can I maintain friendships with those who support that?
Supporting Trump, regardless of the issue—be it taxes or abortion—means endorsing his entire platform. If friends vote for him for financial reasons, they are embracing a side of racism. I may not practice Islam, but with my Arabic name, I wonder if I’d be targeted if his administration decided to round up Muslims. I don’t know. And if you support his anti-abortion stance, you’re also supporting his xenophobic policies.
The Future of Rights and Relationships
Let’s not overlook how he packed the Supreme Court with conservative judges who threaten reproductive rights and marriage equality. As someone who has known since my pre-teen years that I’m queer, I fear for my future. I recently met the love of my life, and we’re planning to marry next year. If you voted for Trump, don’t expect an invitation to our wedding. You can’t celebrate my love while voting to strip my rights away.
My anxiety about this election has been overwhelming. Seeing friends post their voting selfies, I can’t help but wonder, “Did they vote for Trump?” They often remain silent about their preferences, leaving me to assume the worst. I want to trust that they are doing the right thing, but without clear signals, doubt creeps in. It’s hard to reconcile the idea that people who claim to love you would vote to take away your rights. Unfortunately, many white individuals often prioritize their own interests.
Four years ago, I might have been more forgiving towards friends who supported Trump. Now? No chance. If you understand the fears of marginalized communities and still choose to back that man, then you’re no friend of mine. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Goodbye.
Further Reading
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Summary
The article addresses the personal impact of friends’ political choices, particularly regarding Donald Trump and Joe Biden. The author expresses that supporting Trump signifies an endorsement of his broader harmful ideologies, making it difficult to maintain friendships with those who back him. As a Black queer woman, the author emphasizes the importance of aligning friendships with shared values, especially in light of the threats posed by Trump’s administration to marginalized communities.