As a mother of three, I have become increasingly aware of a concerning trend among parenting circles that stirs discomfort and frustration within me. Many parents wear their so-called progressive views as a badge of honor, believing they are open-minded and accepting. However, this notion is fundamentally misguided.
The concept of colorblindness—the idea that we should ignore race entirely—actually perpetuates racism rather than combats it. A few years ago, while waiting to pick up my daughter from preschool, I witnessed a telling interaction. A young boy, filled with excitement, exclaimed to his mother, “Look, there are brown kids in my class! Three brown kids!” His mother’s reaction was swift and harsh; she shushed him, glancing around to see if others had overheard. The boy’s confusion was palpable. What had he done wrong?
That same holiday season, after attending a church service, my family dined at a largely empty restaurant. A little girl approached our table, her curiosity evident as she looked at my two-year-old and my newborn, who has deep brown skin. “Are those your kids?” she asked. I confirmed, and her parents, noticing her at our table, remained silent, seemingly shocked. I decided to provide her with clarity, explaining that my children were adopted. She pondered this and asked, “Do they see their other mommies?”
Her thoughtful inquiry made me realize that children possess a natural curiosity about differences, yet they often face barriers when seeking understanding. Parents may mistakenly believe that avoiding discussions about race shields their children from prejudice, but in reality, it fosters distrust and confusion. Ignoring their questions can lead to a skewed perception of race and identity.
Several similar encounters have cemented this belief. From a young boy at the playground who questioned how I could be the mother of my black children, to a cashier who hesitated to acknowledge my son’s parentage, these moments reflect a broader societal need for honest dialogue. Children desire truth, and it’s our duty as parents to respond with openness, even when the conversations are uncomfortable.
When your child points out a family with different appearances or expresses excitement about a friend who looks different, embrace those moments. Rather than evading their questions about racism or identity, engage them in meaningful discussions. This not only honors the identities of your children but also nurtures a healthy understanding of diversity.
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In summary, avoiding discussions about race does not cultivate understanding; instead, it breeds confusion and mistrust. By embracing honest conversations, we can equip our children with the tools to appreciate and celebrate diversity.