At first glance, it might seem surprising that we are friends, or that our bond has endured through the years. We may hold differing political and religious beliefs, come from distinct backgrounds, and possess contrasting personalities. Our interactions may primarily take place through text messages, emails, and social media platforms, with the occasional phone call thrown in.
Our families might look different, and our views on parenting may not align. We could be living in various types of homes, in different cities across the country—or perhaps even on opposite sides of the globe. But none of that truly matters. What really counts in friendship are the things we care about, and those we simply choose to ignore.
For instance, I really don’t care what you put on your dinner table. Whether you serve your kids an all-organic, non-GMO feast or let them indulge in Cheez Doodles every day is entirely up to you. Whether your family dinners are a one-size-fits-all affair or a nightly culinary challenge to cater to picky eaters, I’m indifferent. Just don’t judge me for stocking my pantry with Pop Tarts and chips, or lecture me about the virtues of juicing—I’ll pass on that.
I also don’t give a hoot about your job title. Whether you’re a working mom, a stay-at-home parent, or an entrepreneur, it doesn’t matter to me. I care more about whether we can vent together about the challenges we face—whether in the boardroom or in the chaos of parenting. After all, isn’t that what friends are for?
Your home and vehicle don’t concern me either. I’m not bothered by whether your living space is immaculate or scattered with kids’ toys and snack crumbs. The only thing I need to know is whether your house is a “shoes-off” zone, because a true friend should feel comfortable enough to walk into your home without worrying about the state of their footwear.
Parenting styles, or even the absence of parenting, don’t faze me. Whether you co-sleep, use disposable diapers, or never leave your kids’ side, I care only about how you treat my children. Respect for one another’s choices matters, as does the compatibility of our kids, which makes it easier for us to share our parenting woes.
Your political, religious, or cultural inclinations are not high on my priority list either. Whether you binge-watch reality TV or are glued to news channels doesn’t affect our friendship. What truly matters is whether we can enjoy a tub of cookie dough and some cheap wine while watching classic movies in our pajamas. I’m more interested in your kindness and good heart than in your beliefs or viewing habits.
As I age, I find that I have fewer cares to spare, and I reserve them for things that really matter: Do you care about me? Are you responsive to my messages? Are you supportive of my decisions, regardless of whether you agree with them? Can I count on you when life gets tough? Do we share laughter and tears, and can we be our true selves around each other?
Friendship is about sharing secrets, being vulnerable, and not running away when things get messy. It’s about enjoying the journey together, complete with inside jokes and memorable stories.
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Summary
Friendship is about valuing what truly matters—like kindness, support, and shared experiences—while dismissing superficial differences like parenting styles or professional titles. As we navigate life, it’s crucial to focus on the bonds we create and the laughter we share, which is the essence of genuine friendship.