The Ideal of Kindness: A Flawed Perspective

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The phrase “Kindness Is Always Possible” has become ubiquitous across social media, merchandise, and everyday conversations. Expressions like “choose kindness” and “spread kindness” resonate deeply, embodying love, empathy, and compassion. However, the notion that kindness can be extended to everyone, regardless of their actions or beliefs, is fundamentally flawed. Not everyone warrants your courtesy, respect, or kindness.

Allow me to elaborate. I am a strong, independent individual who works tirelessly to support myself and my loved ones. I write numerous articles weekly, pouring my heart into each piece. As a proud member of the LGBTQ community, I embrace my identity as a queer woman. Yet, not everyone shares this appreciation for who I am. I face prejudice because of my gender and political beliefs, often being judged for my progressive stance and my right to love who I choose.

While I can endure judgment and unkind words, I refuse to extend kindness to those who actively seek to oppress me. Some individuals cast votes for leaders who threaten my rights and well-being. You might suggest that I engage with such people to educate them or “kill them with kindness.” But why should I invest my emotional energy in loving those who believe my existence is undeserving of basic human decency?

As an article on Learning for Justice articulates, while kindness can be an essential teaching tool in education, it should not overshadow the need for justice. Teaching children to be considerate without addressing systemic inequities can lead to a misunderstanding of how different individuals experience life.

Additionally, the pressure to always be “the nice one” can harm one’s mental health. Psychology Today points out that this persistent need to please can lead to self-blame, burnout, and unhealthy relationships. Instead of asserting what we want, we often anticipate the desires of others, which stifles honest communication.

So, what should we do instead?

We can approach conversations with those who hold unkind views with clarity and assertiveness. Engaging in fact-based discussions is one option, or sometimes, disengagement is the best approach. Establishing boundaries is crucial; being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. Your mental health is paramount, and it’s okay to step back from toxic relationships that leave you feeling undervalued.

Respect is earned, and kindness should be, too. Remember, you shouldn’t sacrifice your well-being to keep others comfortable.

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In summary, while kindness is a noble sentiment, it shouldn’t come at the cost of one’s dignity or mental health. It’s essential to recognize when kindness is warranted and when it’s better to advocate for oneself instead.